As if the Mayan doomsday prediction isn’t enough, a recent rash of cannibalistic police stories and crazed behavior has many re-watching every zombie movie they’ve ever seen to study survival tips for the 2012 zombie apocalypse that has apparently begun. In case you have no idea what this whole 2012 zombie apocalypse thing you may be seeing on Facebook and Twitter is, here’s a handy timeline of the events that have given rise to suspicion that the night of the living dead may soon come to pass.
Saturday, May 26 2012: A Maryland student goes missing. His head and hands are discovered later in tins within his roommate’s home. The roommate, Alexander Kinyua, later admitted to authorities, according to TIME News, that he ate the heart and portions of the brain of the missing student, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie. He then allegedly dumped the rest of the body in a dumpster.
Saturday, May 26, 2012: Police are alerted that two men may be fighting on a bike path in Florida. On arrival the police reported that one man was chewing on the others head. Rudy Eugene was naked during the time of the attack, and may have been high, Fox News said. He was shot and killed on the scene. The victim, 65-year-old Ronald Poppo, is in critical condition-which is to be expected when someone literally eats your face.
Sunday, May 27 2012: Police are called to a New Jersey residence where Wayne Carter is said to have barricaded himself within his home with a 12-inch kitchen knife. When officers attempt to disarm him Carter supposedly stabbed himself repeatedly, removed his own intestines and threw them at the officers. Carter is reported to have had a history of mental illness.
Sunday, May 27 2012: A Florida doctor is pulled over for driving erratically. Once arrested for a D.U.I Zachary Bird allegedly began banging his head against the car’s interior until he was bleeding profusely. ABC News reported he then spit the blood in the arresting officer’s face. Drugs of an unknown type were said to be found in the accused’s car, along with a copious amount of cash.
Friday, June 1, 2012: California based cage-fighter Jarrod Wyatt is said to have been found standing naked over his friend’s dead body after he allegedly ripped his heart out while he was still alive while high on hallucinogenic mushrooms. Wyatt is accused of ripping out his friend’s eye, heart, and possibly other organs and burning them. Authorities reported he explained that he believed his friend was the devil.
Admittedly, this is a lot of cannibalism and disembowelment to have occurred in less than a week’s time, but the the cause behind these incidents seem to be drugs and insanity, not zombies. Is this the crazed start of a 2012 zombie apocalypse? Who knows.