My children are just over three and a half years apart. My husband and I planned it this way. We felt like this range would make parenting less hectic and diffuse the sibling rivalry. At the same time, our kids would still be close enough in age to play together. As our son approaches his first birthday, things seem to be working out well. While having two kids is an adjustment, I think we made a good choice. Here are four reasons why it’s great to have kids three to four years apart.
Independence
When my daughter was two, she would try to run away. She would climb onto the kitchen countertop. She wouldn’t hesitate to try to eat the whole tube of toothpaste. While four-year-olds still need to be watched closely, I feel like my daughter has definitely matured. For the most part, she can put on her clothes, pour herself a drink and go to bathroom by herself. Having one independent child makes life much easier.
Diaper Duty
I like the fact that my daughter was completely potty trained by the time my son arrived. She doesn’t need training pants nor does she have night wetting accidents. The other bonus to having only one child in diapers is cost. I must spend $50 a month in diapering supplies. I can’t imagine having to spend $100.
Rivalry
While my daughter sometimes gets jealous when she is not getting enough attention, there isn’t a lot of sibling rivalry. When my kids get older, they will be four years apart in school. Thus, I won’t have to worry too much about them having the same friends or competing in sports. I think having a boy and a girl diminishes the sibling rivalry too. I’m also glad that my daughter will probably not want to date any of her younger brother’s friends. The age gap is just too great.
School
Babies can be very demanding. I nurse my son for three to four hours a day. He has a hard time nursing if it is loud. I’m glad that my daughter is at the age where she can go to school and play with kids while I spend some alone time with the baby.
The Downside
As with the good, there are also some challenges to having kids three to four years apart. My daughter has plenty of friends and activities. This means we often have to jump into the car to go somewhere. Sometimes this disrupts the baby’s nap schedule. In addition, since they are at such different developmental stages, I have to be careful about the older sibling being too rough with the younger sibling.
Overall, I love the three and a half year age gap between my kids. It’s working out just fine.
More from Melissa:
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First Person: I don’t want to be my daughter’s friend
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