You have every right to be picky while you’re dating. After all, you want to be in a relationship that works for you and makes you happy. However, there are some who are doing more harm to their dating life than good because they’re being so picky that they’re kicking wonderful potential options to the curb without giving them a proper chance. Could you be one of them? Here are seven signs that you’re being too picky with dating and finding the right man.
Your friends tell you that you are
Your friends want you to be happy and only want the best for you. It’s not uncommon for them to be more picky than you would be. If they’re telling you that you’re being overly picky then there’s a good chance you probably are.
Your list is ridiculously long
I’ve known some people who had a list of dozens of “musts” and if a guy didn’t meet every criteria, he’d be kicked to the curb. Some of the points on incredibly long lists include “Must have green eyes,” “Must sleep on the right side of the bed,” and “Must know how to play three sports.” If you have around ten “musts” on your list, you’re good, anything more than that and you’re moving into picky territory.
Your “list” isn’t in the right order
If you have “Only wears white socks” on your list before you have “He must treat me well,” then your list is way out of order. Actually, him treating you well should be first on your list. Review your list and really consider what criteria should stay and go and make sure to rearrange the order. Enlist the help of a friend or two if possible. The next step – and the most difficult part – is actually sticking to your newly arranged criteria.
You’ve dumped guys for ridiculous reasons
You’re entitled to your reasons for not wanting to be with someone, but if you find some of those reasons you’ve dumped guys include reasons a majority of people would consider ridiculous, such as that he watches a particular TV show or went to a certain college you don’t like, you’re probably being way too picky. It’s time to re-evaluate what your dealbreakers are in a relationship.
You haven’t been on a date in a long time
It’s one thing if you haven’t been on a date in a really long time because you decided to take a break from the dating scene, but if you’ve gone a really long time without going on a date even though you’ve been asked out more than once by different men, you’re being too picky. You’re not going to get into a relationship if you keep shooting down every guy who asks you on a date because you’re constantly finding something wrong them.
You judge completely on looks
Anyone who says they date completely by personality is lying. Looks play at least some small part in attraction, however, it certainly shouldn’t be all there is. I’ve learned from experience that a guy may not be incredible in the looks department, but the better the personality, the better looking he actually starts to get. Looks are eventually going to fade. At least give a guy a chance to prove to you that even though he’s not drop dead gorgeous, he can still treat you the way you want to be treated. You might be surprised how attractive you start to find him.
You rely on the instant spark
I know some women who won’t give a guy the time of day if they don’t feel fireworks right away. It’s a huge sign of being picky. That very rarely happens and if it does, it’s more than likely lust you’re feeling. Sometimes it takes a few dates for that spark to ignite. Give it time, at least two or three dates, and see what happens.
It’s great to be picky to a point; it means you know what you want and what you deserve, but being overly picky can only hurt you in the end. I’m not saying to lead a guy on or date him with the intention of hoping that you’re eventually going to fall for him because of his great personality, but you have to be willing to open yourself up to the idea that things between the two of you could develop over the course of a few dates. If you really like his personality, despite the fact that he doesn’t meet all your “qualifications,” give things a chance before you cut ties.
More from Lauren R:
7 Red Flags to Watch Out for on a First Date
6 Ways to Avoid Becoming an Annoying Couple
Why Didn’t He Call? 8 Reasons Why You Haven’t Heard from Him