Ever since I have known her (more than a dozen years), my wife has gotten bored with hairstyles rather quickly. As a result of this, she makes a change in the length, style or color 3 or 4 times a year.
Most of the time, she is happy with the change (at least for a short while) and she’s even gotten offered a modeling job as a result of one of her changes. However, every once in a while, she will get a hairstyle or color that she absolutely hates, leaving it up to me to step in and help her cope with it.
At first, this was somewhat difficult for me, mostly because I have had the same haircut since high school. However, after I started following a few rules, I found it was much easier to be there for her.
First, I found I have to take it (almost) as seriously as she does. Like I said before, haircuts really don’t mean that much to me personally. In fact, they are pretty much just an inconvenience I have to put up with for the few minutes it takes to take a trimmer through my hair every few weeks. However, my wife, like many women, takes her hair a bit more seriously and, because of that, I realized I do have to respect the fact she’s upset and not make things worse by acting like it isn’t a big deal.
Second, I found it helps to work on her self esteem. If my wife hates her hair, I won’t waste my time telling her I like it simply because I know it’ll fall on deaf ears. I will, however, get her to focus both on her physical strengths (her eyes and her smile) and other qualities (like her artistic ability) in an effort to remind her that her hair isn’t going to define who she is. When I do this, she still hates her hair. But, she doesn’t end up hating herself as a result of that.
The third thing I do is help her make the most out of a bad situation. A few years ago, a stylist cut her hair much shorter than she wanted it cut. So, to help her through that, I bought her some beautiful hats that covered up the hair as much as possible but were a nice fit with her everyday outfits. I also found I can make her feel better about her hair just by picking up colorful clips and other accessories that she can wear in her hair to draw attention away from the hair itself.
Last, when all else fails, I pay for her to go to another salon. This has only happened once in 12 years because I would much rather avoid the cost. However, I do keep it up my sleeve just in case because I would much rather spend a little extra money for her to get her hair fixed than have her be miserable for up to several weeks.
As long as my wife likes changing her hair on a regular basis, I know I’m going to have to put up with the occasional hair mistake. But, by following these rules, I know I’ll be able to get us both through it.