For about ten years I have been struggling with severe anxiety attacks and have visited several doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists. They all prescribed me many antidepressants that would work for about a month or so but then fade away. The end result: I always ended up back at square one, feeling constant inner turmoil.
My family doctor discovered that I had a thyroid issue, so he prescribed Synthroid. After several years of tweaking my prescription and testing my blood, he felt that he had my thyroid issue under control. In his mind, this would also solve my anxiety problems. Everything was great, except for my inability to achieve inner peace. Now, my life is hectic, and my schedule is busy. I am a mother to two very involved and busy little girls. In addition, I work full time teaching reading, library science, and computer science. Keeping all of the balls in the air is a constant battle, one which I have been losing now for ten years.
Although my life seemed perfect to outsiders, I was miserable inside. I wanted to sleep constantly; I was depressed, and no one could help me. My husband tried his hardest to be understanding, but let’s face it: if you are not personally going through a situation, it can be tough to relate. So, for the sake of myself and my family, I made the decision to go see an experimental doctor who would not be afraid to experiment with my medications and try something that no one was else was willing to explore.
During my visit, I did a lot of talking. The doctor did a great deal of listening. When I finished, he looked at me said, “I am almost 100% sure you have adult ADHD.” I was not really shocked, I mean, as a kid, I could never sit still. However, when I was young, the letters ADHD meant nothing together. Plus, my parents would never have medicated me. I was an honors students who participated in athletics and extracurriculars. So, in their eyes, I was fine. What they could not know or see was my inner turmoil. I think college really hit me with the overwhelming feelings and the development of perfectionism. Having children really sent me over the edge. So, this diagnosis did not come as a shock to me.
I must admit, however, I felt a little embarrassed handing over my prescription for Adderall to the pharmacist, but now that I feel better, I could care less. After just a week on the medicine, I felt like a new person. I was much happier at work, but more importantly, I was more pleasant at home and felt like a better wife and mother. My body experienced a balance that I had not felt in years. So, do not be afraid to seek second opinions, and if you think you may have ADD or ADHD as an adult, it is okay. Returning to my normal self has been the best medicine for me and everyone around me. If you research the symptoms of ADD or ADHD, you may just find that you could suffer from one of them. Helping yourself is the best thing you can do; don’t worry what others will think. We all need peace in our minds and bodies.
I have come to realize that all that matters is what is important to me. Feeling inner peace and being a happier person for everyone in my life was and is important to me. So, for me, seeking help and finding peace was one of the best decisions I could have made. It’s never too late to find the real you again.