To Whom It May Concern,
My name is Michael and I love beer. Whether drinking it on the couch watching football, discovering interesting new brews at a festival, or attempting to concoct my own at home with my brother-in-law, beer has become a pretty significant part of my life. I consider myself lucky to have spent most of my life in the Pacific Northwest where I believe the best beers in the world are brewed, and over the last few years I have come to think of Widmer Brothers as one of the reasons for that belief. This conclusion was even further strengthened last winter when I first tasted the Widmer Brothers Pitch Black IPA.
The Pitch Black IPA is one of my absolute favorite beers , and quickly became a winter tradition I look forward to enjoying for years to come. My local grocery store’s beer isle must have seen twice as many visits from me this fall as I eagerly anticipated the roll-out of this years lot. The day I finally saw it on the shelf, I startled a mother and her child with the audible yelp of joy that perfectly captured my excitement. I swiftly pulled out my cell phone and called my brother-in-law seeking someone to share this enthusiasm with. At this point I would like to be clear about one thing: this is not a joke, not a comical use of hyperbole, at the sight of this beer I literally uttered a shriek and made a phone call.
Now that you understand just what a pleasure your beer is for me and undoubtedly many others, I would ask you to imagine yourself in my position as I reach for that glorious first taste of the winter season. Now imagine the surprise when your hand comes away not grasping a 6-pack of this sublime beverage, but instead a stubby and malformed cube containing only four bottles of the heavenly nectar. Needless to say my mind was reeling with possibilities that could have lead to such a travesty. Had the bottling facility inadvertently manufactured this defective eyesore that was able to slip through the cracks and onto the shelf? Was this some sort of distasteful reality show prank that would leave me seething inside while outwardly laughing at having been caught so shocked on hidden camera? A moment later the horrifying truth descended upon me. The reality that there is one thing Widmer Brothers loves more than beer… a bigger profit margin. In the next 15 seconds I dealt with three of the five stages of grief in a swirling and jumbled arrangement before I finally arrived at anger. The first words out of my mouth were, “Are you freaking kidding me?” and while it may not be the most eloquent of sentiments, I imagine it accurately summarizes the feelings of every loyal customer hoodwinked by this despicable sham.
This letter is a plea for Widmer Brothers to extend a little human decency and turn away from the wicked ways of the 4-pack. I understand that there are shareholders to answer to, but there have got to be better ways to affect the bottom line. I humbly request a triumphant return to the 6-pack next winter, that you may be remembered generations from now as the master craftsmen of beer that you are, and not the penny pinching scrooge of the holiday season that this path will surely lead you to become. If you are reading this I would like to thank you very much for your time, and I hope that you will take this message to heart.
Most Sincerely,
Michael
If you find yourself in agreement with my dismay, please take the time to let Widmer Brothers know using the link below.
