Every one has good days and bad days. Sometimes in life those bad days turn to bad years, and it seems your life is a rolling stone that continues downhill. That’s the way I felt about my life during my dark years after graduating from college. Growing up in a minister’s home, I was almost required to depend on what I was taught in church for happiness. That included listening to what others in the church told me God wanted me to do, and if I did not heed their advice not only would I be unhappy but go to hell after living a life of unhappiness!
Having sex outside of marriage or doing a lot of partying as a single was frowned upon. I met a girl who in conjunction with her family convinced me that God’s plan for me was to marry her, and I could even work for her family and have a bright future. That sounded like a great plan that God had for me! Marry a good looking girl and be part owner of a successful company. What a deal! Only problem was, after graduating from college I moved to where that family was, and my wife decided to have an affair and said she did not love me anymore the day after I had purchased a home and joined her family business.
Although I was going into depression after these events, I knew that I could pick up the pieces of losing my first job and relationship instantly, and sold the house, plus started a new career in another city. However, my former wife’s father would call me or try to visit on a regular basis and tell me that God wanted me to get back together with her. I would go to church and it seemed the sermon was always about sin and guilt and everyone would tell me what God wanted me to do. I was being brainwashed into depression and saw no way out.
My parents saw the depression I was having and even bought St. Johns Wart for me, an herb for depression. They even gave me a prescription from a doctor for a depression drug. Yet, pills do not cure the problem when you are being brainwashed and pressured to follow advice that creates more depression. I started drinking, which made the matter worse in the long run, but at least it flushed out some of the advice by going against what was being preached to me.
After many years of thinking suicide and that God must not love me, my life came full circle like it does for many people. I met my first wife 25 years later and she and her father convinced me once again that God wanted us to remarry. The engagement ended when her father said we should get married immediately to avoid sexual sin even if we live in separate places. Something came over me that was stronger than the demands being given and I listened to what God told me, not what others were telling me God wanted for me. When I took my stand in my mind, my depression started disappearing.
There are many people that suffer from depression that requires prescriptions because of physical problems with the brain. My best friend committed suicide because he had the same problems I had encountered, being involved in a church that harshly told him what God wanted him to do. Yet, he also had the physical imbalance that required medication. So perhaps there are many people that need to just say no to brainwashing or living with abuse of your mind. If you have this problem, I just hope that you can understand that God listens to your needs and you do not have to have an interpreter. Get some help outside of your family or with the group or church that can be contributing to the depression. You deserve a good life and don’t need to suffer from mental abuse that can cause depression.