There are a lot of advantages of living close to elderly parents, such as the ability to oversee their healthcare, and provide financial support when needed. However, there are also a number of disadvantages of living close to elderly parents that you should carefully weigh up before reaching a decision that will not only impact your life and your parents’ lives, but also that of your spouse.
Strain on Your Marriage
Caring for the emotional and physical needs of elderly parents is easier if you live nearby and are able to pop in each day to see how they are getting on. However, doing so can also put a considerable strain on your marriage if you spend all your free time taking care of your parents and neglecting the needs of your spouse.
Some honest self-examination may be in order, as it is not always easy to spot spousal neglect unless you are on the receiving end. Do you often cancel date night? Or did you forget your latest wedding anniversary because you were busy spending that occasion with your parents? Emergencies and other serious issues come up, but if you regularly make it a habit of putting your elderly parents’ needs ahead of those of your spouse, your marriage will suffer for it in the end.
When children move away from home, they not only want to assert their own independence as they take on the responsibilities of adulthood; they also want to form close, intimate ties with their spouse once they are married. The bond between a husband and a wife is truly remarkable and unique.
Unfortunately, the close, intimate bond you share with your spouse can be affected if you live near your parents. This is especially so if your parents have access to your home and they have the habit of often stopping by unannounced.
My Little Baby!
Your parents will always be your parents. As such, you will remain their “little baby”, even when you are in your 60s and drawing a pension. While some adult children can handle being babied by their elderly parents, others find it a real struggle to be treated like an adult once they move back close to their parents.
It is important to carefully consider all of your options before deciding to move back close to your parents. While there are many advantages of moving close to elderly parents, you should also think of how everyone’s lives will change if and when you make the move.
More from this contributor:
Advantages of Living Close to Elderly Parents
Caring for the Needs of Elderly Parents in Their Own Home
How to Make Elderly Parents Feel Needed