I realize the Christian Right is having a tizzy over same-sex marriage. But then I really don’t care. All my life I’ve watched heterosexuals fall in love and get married and then fall out of love and into divorce, and believe me; I’m not impressed. So if someone who thinks they know God can come along and tell me that we gays can’t do that – fall in love and get married, I’m not listening.
Now I’m not saying gay people will do any better than heterosexuals at marriage but one thing I do know; gay people won’t be getting married because one of them got pregnant. Surely there might be some exceptions to the rule; we gays are a mixed bunch.
I will admit I’ve known my share of immature gay people who will probably skip up the aisle and tie the knot, on some drunken night in Vegas, just like so many straight people do. They’ll also sometimes wake up the next morning and realize what an idiot they’ve been, so surely we’ll have those types of marriages too.
But I do know this; most often when two gay people want to get married, it’s because they’re in love and they want to commit their lives and futures to just that one person. So in that regard, we’re no different from heterosexuals – we love and we fall in love just the same. And we also fight with each other and fall out of love too, just like straight people.
I’m sure there will be some differences between same-sex marriages and heterosexual couples. Most generally I think children who were raised by gay parents will probably be loved more. Why? Because most of the children raised by gay people will have been adopted, which means they were chosen, not just an accident, which at least a percentage of children raised by heterosexuals surely are. This may be just speculation but time will tell.
LGBT people are a diverse bunch. The only thing they really share is their sexual orientation and beyond that, the door is wide open. There are some of us who are even Republicans. Some might call a gay-Republican an oxymoron but we do have gay people who actually vote Republican, why they do may always be a mystery for me but maybe they’re just a sucker for punishment.
But there are some things that gay people have had in common throughout our existence, and some of those things remind us of the differences we have with everyone else.
There is the loneliness, which has been the final resting place for so many gays over the years. It comes from not having a family of your own. After losing one’s youth, what is there to do but to watch your life slowly dwindle away? No one left to share love and life with – just emptiness. Fortunately, gay marriage will change that for so many and bring hope and life to someone who would otherwise be so alone.
I’ve known that loneliness for myself so I certainly don’t wish it upon others. If my gay brothers and sisters can find love in their lives; if they can overcome the great obstacles that might stand in their way and commit their lives to that one special person, then I all I can say is “Full speed ahead. Enjoy what life has given you. Be thankful you were born in an age that would grant you such a wonderful and most splendored thing as marriage.”
But remember this young gay brothers and sisters, for the freedom you hold so dear to finally say “I do” to that significant other, many gay men and women have gone before you. We have suffered at the hand of bigotry and religious edicts throughout history. We have been thrown in prison and executed because of our sexual orientation. We have hidden our desires and put up a front all our lives, just to survive.
We’ve been persecuted along with the Jews in Nazi Germany, and sent to the gas chambers to die. We’ve been outcast throughout history, called evil and unworthy of God’s love. We’ve grown up in families that have taught us that we had no right to live and gone to churches that condemned us from the pulpit. And for some of us, we chose to listen to those words of hate and because of the guilt placed upon us, took our own lives.
But it is time to lay down the guilt for just being born different. God made us this way and there’s no changing into something we’re not. There will be those who will never accept us but that’s okay. But we should no longer have to take the role of second-class citizen and accept marriage as something forbidden and locked away from us. The doors are opening and even though there’s a battle still to fight, we’re almost there, just hold on a bit longer.
The centuries and the decades have passed and gay people have made their mark in so many ways. Remember my gay brothers and sisters the price that was paid so dearly by so many before you. The gay people who’ve been beaten and even murdered by gay bashers and the gays who stood up to the cops that very special night at Stonewall Inn, which then set us on a course for freedom. Remember them all and be grateful when you marry the one you love, for it’s that kind of love they spent their lives looking for and which they were always denied.
And then know this my future gay friends; you undoubtedly are the fortunate ones indeed.
