Letting go and letting God…now, that is an interesting thought. Let go and let God is another way to state it. But for bull-headed people often it is actually giving in and giving the issue to God. Strong people often think they can fix their issues by themselves. Or in my case, I know I need God, I just don’t want to give the issue to Him and then actually TRUST He will do anything about it!
I must say this – I am a control freak. I do not like saying that, and my daughter will laugh out loud if she reads this, but I am. I have been single for so long and really have not had anyone to rely on to help me do anything since she moved away. Over the course of time I have learned the hard way to be a control freak. If something needs to get done, I do it. It may not be perfect, but most of the time I can figure something out and get it done.
Example – my roof. I live on a beautiful place in Western Colorado located on a river. It is spectacular. But there is a strange environmental combination of the surrounding mountains and the river that converge to create wind. In the morning the wind blows down the river and in the evening it blows up the river. All well and good, except sometimes the wind blows hard.
My little house sits parallel to the river so the breeze blows the same direction as the roof, no matter if it is morning or evening. The only draw back is the little house has regular shingles. Old time shingles. They work fine as long as there is just a breeze, but when the breeze picks up and becomes wind, the little shingles do not take it well. They have suffered this nightly abuse for almost 20 years and even with repairs are tired. In the middle of the night they flap. Yes, flap. Flap, flap, flap. They flap because the wind has blown them up and bent them in half. The top half is still stuck under the shingle on top of them, but the bottom half has creased and now blows up and down in the wind. This flapping happens on both ends of the house alternating morning and night.
The South Western corner of the house is my bedroom. Since the wind blows up the river, South to North, at night, my bedroom is the exact corner where all the flapping is going on! This lovely situation is not conducive with sleep! I hope to get a new metal roof soon, but until then I have to deal with the shingles. Consequently, because I am so bull-headed, but also because I can’t afford to have a carpenter out every time the flapping is happening, I fix it myself.
I used to have a little handy man that would come and fix it, but when the economy went to nothing he moved back East to live with family. So now, as a single, middle aged woman, I get out the ladder and climb up on my roof and hammer down the shingles myself! It has gotten to the point that this alone is not enough. So now I climb up on the roof and put cinder blocks all over that one corner. Yes, cinder blocks. You should have seen me climbing up the ladder with a cinder block! I’m sure it would have been photo worthy!!
I’m 5’2″and, as my Grand-nephew says, a little fluffy, and here I am lugging cinder blocks while climbing the ladder one precarious step at a time! By the way, it’s not a fancy, modern ladder either. It is a rickety, old, wooden ladder! But I needed something up there and it was all I had, so bull-headed me did it. I didn’t need any help! I could do it myself! Trust me I prayed the entire time! Every step and every cinder block is blessed with God’s care!
Add to the flapping shingles, I have a swamp cooler. My water is very hard and has to have lots of salt in it so I have to frequently get up there and change the pads in the swamp cooler. Consequently, between the shingles and the cooler I am up on the roof quite often. It was inevitable and sure enough, during one of those times I slipped and almost fell off. The only thing that kept me hanging on for dear life was the realization that if I actually fell and injured myself badly no one would know for days. When I didn’t show up for work a couple days hopefully someone would come look for me but otherwise I could lay there till I was cold and stiff! Trust me that realization kept me hanging on until I clawed my way back up there!!
God has protected me time and time again up there! Together, God and I, we get a lot of stuff done. Even when I do give in and give it to God, I still sometimes need to be His hands and feet.