When I was a little girl, I vowed that I would never, ever, ever (under any circumstances) turn into my mother. However, like many other women before me, my resistance created a self-fulfilling prophecy. I guess I am doomed to turn into my mother. Maybe.
My Parenting Style … Most of the Time
I am a brash, brazen, outspoken, tell-it-like-it-is kind of person. I don’t make superfluous statements and I don’t beat around the bush. My style is to go straight for the jugular in any conversation. If there was a blunt word for blunt, that would describe me quite well. I don’t like wasting time. However, since I had my girls at a very young age, I was also able to be the cool mom (in some respects), because I could relate to girls their age better at 33 than their friends parents could at 53. I like fashion; I never skimp on the make-up and love being physically fit. My mom, on the other hand? Polar opposite. Because of these things, I figured I was safe always and forever.
My Parenting Fail
Little by little, I find myself becoming more and more like my mother. My once fashion forward closet has been replaced with comfort wear. I don’t wear much make up anymore, and you will usually find me with my hair in a bun or a functional pony tail, as opposed to coiffed and styled. I find myself really considering buying the “As Seen on TV” products at Walgreens. Yes, indeed, I am morphing into my mother.
However, fight the notion as I may, never was this more true than when my newly christened 18-year-old looked at me in my daily uniform and blurted out, “Mom, you are not cool.”
Gasp.
Cringe.
Guffaw.
Surely, she must be joking.
She wasn’t joking. Ugh.
One Step Forward
As my oldest twin and I were out shopping a few days after my wake up call, I was told that my fashion sense had “gone downhill” and that I wasn’t as conscious or cognizant of my appearance as I was when my daughter was younger. And then, after I had my verbal b%$#& slapping, she also informed me that my skills as a home decorator had been left wanting of late as well. However, she was going to rehabilitate me. One step forward, two steps back.
I’m Never Turning Into My Mother, I Think
Studies suggest that women begin subconsciously turning into their mothers around the time they hit 32-years-old. Yet, women the world over fight this process tooth and nail, studied be darned. There are even books written on the subject; instructional guides of how not to turn into your mother, designed to help women fight off what some psychologists believe to be the inevitable. Yet I am not turning into my mother. Not now, not ever. I refuse. Instead, I hope to turn into a version of my mother; a better one. And if I had one “curse” left to bestow upon my teenage daughters, it would be that they turn into a version of me.
I guess I’ll find out in about 15 years.
Are you becoming your mother? How are you avoiding becoming like your mother?
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