They have the Bodybuilding championships, Strong Man competitions, egg and spoon races and now the World Firefighting Championships. First the roof, now the world is on fire, what on Earth did you do? They’ll have live coverage from around the world and probably turn it into a children’s song – ‘there’s a fire over here, a fire over there, don’t just stare, oh look there’s a hare’.
Now the trick with the World Firefighting Championships is to stay alive. Can you hear the Bee Gees ‘Stayin Alive’ ringing in your ears. The song will probably distract the firefighters during the championships and they end up getting burned anyway – ‘thanks Bee Gees’. The Championships are like a circus act, but do it incorrectly and it will be the last act you ever do as a firefighter – ‘that was the best act I’ve seen, too bad it can only be done once’.
The WFC, which almost sounds like the WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, and boy isn’t it entertainment, can become a fully-fledged game show, like It’s a Knockout and Gladiators. Oh it’s so much fun, yeah, as the saying goes, ‘you’re playing with fire’. You might even see your local firefighters on the show – ‘hey there’s Bill, Bobby and Brian from Homebush firestation’ (how many B’s). The Devil himself might even make a special appearance on the show with a charioted grand entrance directly from the ‘fires’ of Hell. He would definitely be the champion of champions and the best firefighter there, and how would you know, he’s walking, in fact dancing through the flames – ‘he makes it look so easy, who let him on the show’.
Then there’s the World Firefighting Championships pin-up calendar, for guys and gals (don’t forget the girls here boys). Oh I bet you’d be feeling the fire people, those photographs look…need I say anymore. And don’t become a firefighter just to pick up, this isn’t a dating service now. In fact, while you are trying to pick up, fighting a fire at the same time, you may lack something…focus and concentration. Yes, there is a calendar, the World Firefighting Championships on television and a lucky, and I say lucky date from a girlie who feels sorry for you because you really are that bad at firefighting, but there is also something else….flames and fire – ‘feeling hot, hot, hot’ (Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot song).
Don’t just start a fire now so you can have a firefighter save you – ‘oh please, help me, save me’. You know it could be complicated marrying a firefighter. The wife or husband might have to literally start a fire to get the attention of their firefighting saviour – ‘don’t you feel the fire lovey?’. One thing is for sure, there will be nothing left of the house. You’d be camping in the tent in the backyard by the end of it, but at least there is the fire of love there (yeah right, I want my house).