Moving back home seemed like the right thing to do. It would give me a chance to save some money, spend some time with the folks, and enjoy mom’s home cooking. Also, Dad and I could enjoy some of those fishing shows like we used to.
I have been gone for a few years, but things sure have changed! It was not long before this mature, successful son of theirs realized that my home and my parents were different.
The first thing I noticed was that my room no longer looked like my room. It was decorated in pink floral girly things. Beggars can’t be choosy but this just did not feel right or comfortable sleeping on pink floral sheets. The soft, cuddly stuffed animals that lay across the bed, stared at me, begging me to hold them, but I do not dare.
I looked at the clock to see it was way passed dinnertime. I waited and waited, but no one came to get me for dinner. I later found out that my parents are professing raw vegans, and the oven is now being used for storing of pots and pans. I began to panic a bit that I was not sure if I would get to eat or not.
“Mom, uh…what’s for dinner?”
Mother starts laughing, “Honey…I do not cook anymore, but I am sure your sister still does; you may give her a call.”
Mom sounded cool, so uncaring…
Surely, my father has not fallen off the wagon, turning into one of these new-age gurus.
I searched for my father only to find him in the back yard. He was not doing what I thought he could be doing. He was not grilling; he was not fixing the cars, nor mowing. He was lying on the grass in the back yard. I thought to myself; he had a heart attack!
Running to my dad, I kneel beside him, “Dad, are you okay?”
“Shhhh…” said my father, I am meditating.”
Standing up quickly, “You are doing what?” I asked.
“I am getting in tune with the universe; you should give it a try.” Dad said, motioning at me to lie beside him.
Feeling weird, and confused, I leave my dad, communing with the universe, and head back into the house.
Suddenly, my mother grabs me by the hand, pulling me into the kitchen. She was excited about a new kitchen appliance she received in the mail a few weeks back.
“Honey, if you juice, you will never be sick again; it has done wonders for your dad and my sex life,”
Father comes in from outside, and I nearly have to put on my sunglasses as the illumination on his face was virtually too much.
Mother looks at my father and offers a little wink.
“Yep, it is the best thing we have bought in over 20 years!” Father laughed, giving my mother a quick peck on the cheek.
Thinking to myself, this is too much information, need to leave this house now!
Offering some sort of explanation, “Mom and Dad, I have decided to move out, but I wanted to thank you for allowing me to come back home.”
Dad looks up somewhat perplexed. “Son…you have only spent the one night, are you sure?”
My mother and father, have clearly jumped on a different train. Turning towards me, they say their good-byes sadly.
“Honey… now please take this bottle of juice, and let me pack you some of my yummy dehydrated bread and fruit! Don’t want you to starve!”
Father leans over to me, offering me a big hug. “May the universe be with you!”
“Uh…okay dad, thanks, I think,” I said awkwardly.
It is very clear my parents are no longer the people I used to know. Maybe they need some sort of intervention. Before I leave I decide to make a phone call, surely there is someone who can help my parents be normal.
“Please come, I need your help! My parents have turned into some weird people. My father hums, and my mother no longer cooks. There has to be something you can do.” I pleaded.
“How old are you sir?” The man on the line asked.
“I am 35!” I say proudly.
“And why are you still living at home with your parents?” The man on the line asked.
Hanging up the phone very quickly, I realize change is a good thing!