My experience with depression first became notably when I was a teenager. Most people will agree that all teenagers are moody, especially teenage girls. For this reason, nobody seemed to notice much when I was moody, quiet or more passive than usual. They just blamed it on hormones, my teenage years and the fact that I was a girl. I wasn’t even too concerned with my mood, myself. I thought I was normal, and even if I wasn’t normal, what teenager wanted to be too normal? The idea of being a little weird worked with the persona I wanted for myself.
Then my twenties came. During my twenties, my experience with depression became worse. The moodiness increased, as did the headaches. This was when I and my parents decided I need to see a doctor. What did the doctor do? She began me on a course of anti-depressants.
The anti-depressants had an one-two punch. They were known to help treat headaches, and they could help the apparent depression she noticed in me. However, the first anti-depressant did not work. The side effects actually made me more depressed. This made me a bit sad because for the first two or three days of treatment, I did feel a bit better. I had increased energy, and the world did seem a bit brighter. Then by the end of the week, my depression became worse. I found myself crying more. I would cry over silly things. I would cry over things that would never bother me in the past. I would even cry over sad television commercials. This was not the person I knew as me. For this reason, after trying another anti-depressant, amitriptyline, and enduring another round of crying, I gave up on those anti-depressants.
I also gave up on the doctor. She didn’t seem to be able to help with my depression or my headache. I assumed both were a part of my life, as they were many family members. I slowly found out that a few of my aunts, cousins, one uncle suffered from depression and headaches. I already knew my mother suffered from the headaches.
I then decided to try reading some self-help books. I read the ones that tried to teach you to be more positive. I began to wonder if my problem was negativity instead of depression. I followed their practices. I began mediating. I tried yoga. For a while, I felt better. I would soon discover that the exercise was the beneficial part. Of course, the positive thinking couldn’t have hurt me any.
Then I went back to the doctor and began contraceptives. I began them for the usually reason. After a few months, I realized they were helping my headaches. They were also regulating my hormones. This helped me a bit in the depression department.
During my thirties, my experience with depression had its up and its downs, thanks to a lull in my headaches. I enjoyed a small break from headaches for a few years. They weren’t gone. However, they weren’t as frequent or as bad. Then they erupted once more. After cutting out chocolate, citrus foods and acids, I went back to the doctor. This trip led to me starting the medication Topamax. This was originally given to seizure medications and was now given for a variety of treatments, including headaches. Within a few weeks, Topamax quieted my headaches once more. They even improved my mood some. Research shows that it helps bipolar disorder and works as a mood stabilizer. This means it is effective for some cases of depression. I definitely believe it helps mine. However, it doesn’t solve it completely since hormones and genetics still play a huge role in this disease.
Present And Future Conclusion
My experience with depression and my health will more than likely continue to change as my life continues. Will I ever not have depression? No. I have told those I love that I could win the lottery and still have bouts with depression. However, watching what I eat, exercising, taking time for myself, getting extra rest on certain days, mediating when I have the time, and taking Topamax does help me.