We all want our friends to like our significant other, but sometimes we unintentionally prevent this from ever happening. If you’ve ever lost a friend to a relationship, or you’ve ever lost a relationship due to a friend, follow these quick steps to assure that your relationship remains as strong as your friendships and you’re never forced to choose sides again.
1) Avoid sounding like a broken record
If you’re hanging out with your friends, and all you can talk about if your significant other, then yes, they will be mad. It’s not that they’re not happy for you, I’m sure they are, but after listening to the top fifty reasons why you love him/her, they may never want to hear you talk again. Even if you’re madly in love and your mate is all you can think about, keep a mental note of how many times you’ve mentioned your partner in a conversation. Set a reasonable limit and make a concerted effort to not pass it. This doesn’t mean you should never talk about your partner, but just don’t over-talk them. If your friends are still interested in hearing about your new guy/gal, they’ll ask their own questions. Until then, try to remember what you talked about before you started dating this new person.
2) You have a new boyfriend/girlfriend, you didn’t become the President
We’re all busy. However, no matter how busy we are, we tend to find ways to make time for the things we’re interested in. If you’re making time for your new partner yet telling your friends you have no ‘free time,’ chances are they won’t like this too much. Friends tend to get jealous when we become absorbed in new relationships. I’m not an advocate for ‘relationships may come and go, but friendships are forever,’ but make sure you learn to balance time with your significant other and your friends. If you used to spend every weekend with your friends, and now that you’re in a relationship you barely see them once a month, your friends have a reason to be upset. Of course you’ll want to spend as much time as possible with your new mate, but don’t forget the friends that existed before your relationship.
3) Your friends shouldn’t be your personal diary
No matter how open you are with your friends, the number one way to friend-proof your relationship is to keep them out of it. This doesn’t mean you need to isolate your friends from your partner, but it does mean you should pick and choose what information you share with them. Can you tell them about your amazing date night? Of course! Can you tell them about the little embarrassing thing he/she does that you think is incredibly sexy? Why not?! But you absolutely cannot run to them, and tell them every detail of every fight you ever have. Why not? Because if you only tell your friends about how unhappy he/she makes you, they’ll wonder what you’re still doing in that relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t vent to your friends, just make sure to balance the bad stories with the good. However, whether you choose to limit the sharing you do, or decide not to share anything at all, your relationship will never suffer from sharing too little information with your friends.
Following these steps won’t necessarily make your friends love your new guy/gal, but it will help stop you from unintentionally sabotaging either relationship ever again