Marriage unites two people and forms one of the closest bonds you will ever have, bringing a couple even closer than that of a parent and their child. Sadly, not all married couples are doing cartwheels over a deliriously happy marriage. How can you help a friend who is lonely in their marriage?
Do Not Go on About Your Happy Marriage
Well-meaning friends who are trying to help those who are lonely and unhappy in their marriage often spend their time talking about how happy they are with their spouse. While there is nothing wrong with telling your friend how great your husband is at remembering your anniversary, or how thoughtful and generous your wife has always been, focusing on your happiness will not lift the spirits of someone who is lonely in their marriage.
Never Badmouth Your Friend’s Spouse
If you often hear negatives remarks about your friend’s spouse, it can be easy to take it all in and never have a positive thought or word to say about your friend’s husband or wife. But this is not the right attitude to have.
It would be wrong to badmouth your friend’s spouse. Not only is it disrespectful and rude to speak in such a way, but being negative will not help improve your friend’s marriage or contribute to their happiness.
Include Your Friend’s Spouse in Events
It can be tempting to exclude your friend’s spouse during dinner parties and other social events, especially if all you ever hear are negative reports from your friend. No one really knows exactly what is going on in someone else’s marriage. Nor should they try to interfere or take sides.
If you are planning a social event, be sure to invite your friend’s spouse. They may refuse at first, but if you persist they may well relent one day and help your friend feel like part of a couple again, as they accompany their spouse to events.
While love and happiness should go hand-in-hand in marriage, the reality can be quite different for some couples. If your friend is lonely in their marriage, you will not be able to mend their marital problems, but you can help improve your friend’s outlook. If you are married, make sure you do not harp on about how happy you are. It is also important to zip it if you feel tempted to badmouth your friend’s spouse. Including your friend’s spouse in social events can also pay off in the end if you are persistent.
More from this contributor:
Do Couple Breaks Really Enrich a Marriage?
How to Rekindle Your Romance as Empter Nesters
Should You Separate from Your Spouse?