When I entered the world of dating after my divorce I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Soon I was discouraged about all of the Mr. Wrongs I’d met. I think I went out on a date with every type of guy I couldn’t stand.
First, there was Mr. Womanizer. He said all of he right things, or so he thought, but he left a bad feeling in my gut. What guy immediately wants to jump into a relationship because he’s found “the one”? This type of guy. Soon after announcing that I was “the one” he had another one.
Second, there was Mr. Horndog. He made it quiet clear he was only interested in one thing although my dating profile clearly stated I was seeking a long term relationship.
Third, I went out on a date with Mr. Racist. I’m all for everyone having their own opinions. If you don’t like a person just because of their race, that’s your choice. I don’t feel the same though and I will not let a guy change my mind or try to influence me to change my mind.
I also went out with Mr. Liar, Mr. I-Can’t-Date-Just-One-Woman, and Mr. Crazy. I finally decided to educate myself about dating. First, I read a lot of recent dating books. Then I talked to a few of my male friends to figure out what MY problem was. I learned a lot about myself (and how guys view dating) by talking to the opposite sex.
If you are going to use an online dating site, make sure your profile reflects who you are in a positive way. If you have a lot of negativity in your profile, this is going to scare people away. There are ways of saying what your aren’t looking for in a positive way. Tired of running into people who don’t work/support themselves? Say something like “I am self sufficient and am looking for someone who is the same.”
Post tactful pictures of yourself. The number one complaint I heard from fellow online daters? Poor quality/poor taste of pictures posted. Everyone likes to see who they are meeting. Not everyone likes all the goods laid out on the table. Save a little mystery. And post at least one full body shot. Everyone has thier own opinion on what is average, a little extra, and a lot more to love when it comes to body types.
Know what you want and don’t settle for less. Find out what are the qualities you want in a person. Then decide what you can compromise on and what you can’t. For example maybe you prefer to date brunettes but you could still date a blond. In other words, what are your deal breakers?
After talking to my friends and reading many books, I revamped my online dating profile. I removed my body type and posted a full body shot of myself. I rewrote my “about me” sections and made it positive and also made sure to weave in what I wasn’t looking for in a positive way. I made sure to mention that I was a parent (this is a deal breaker for a lot of men so it is best to mention it so no one is wasting their time). Although I checked the box that indicated I was looking for a long term relationship, I made sure to mention it again in my about me section. I listed some likes (such as movies, reading, live music) and finished it off with the fact that I was looking for someone who was nearby.
I also made a promise to myself that I would listen to my gut and not ever second guess myself again. I kept that promise to myself.
Three years ago I met the most amazing guy by being upfront and honest. We met for coffee, talked for about an hour, and started dating. Three months after meeting we became serious. Three years later we are still going strong.