A lot of people have been there and I am going to include myself. How do you deal with a man or a woman who just keeps coming at you with romantic pursuits and personal questions, social manipulations, character assaults and your nice rejections have fallen on deaf ears?
There are many sites out there that try to help men and women reject romantic pursuits and romantic manipulations. What if those ideas don’t work for you though? I have seen them. Those ideas are old and the advice is worn out meaning others may become immune to the advice and so the advice not surprisingly does not work on them from the people who reject them. Here are some things I have done and said in dealing with rejecting romantic pursuits, jealous putdowns and social manipulations and they all worked for me.
Can I use your phone?
I was once demanded by a man who kept calling me his girlfriend to give him my cell phone to use whenever he wanted to use it. Well, after three or four times of him talking on my cell phone for one hour every time and not listening to me when I told him he couldn’t talk that long, I used the presence of my stepfather. My stepfather is in the military and he is very protective of me. I merely said my stepdad said no one else could use my cell phone. I told him he wasn’t me therefore he was someone else.
Can I have your phone number?
I am from Hawaii. My cell phone number is from Hawaii. I may have moved elsewhere in the USA but I still maintain a Hawaii area code. I have indeed been approached with this question. I simply stated I cannot get long distance calls. To me, long distance is out of the country, but they don’t ask and I don’t offer more information once they know I’m from Hawaii and have a Hawaii number.
You’re my boyfriend/girlfriend.
Just because I was kind enough to chat with you, it does not mean we are more than friends. Most civilized people can talk to others and know it is just friendship. If you don’t want me to put words in your mouth, then please respect me by not putting words in my mouth.
You better not hug him/her.
I’ll hug whoever I want to hug. Hugging is a friendly gesture and it shows I feel comfortable with said person. If I don’t want to hug someone, I won’t.
I only want you to be my friend.
I need my space. I don’t want to be your only friend. You have other friends. How did you become friends with them if you can’t be friends with others?
You hugged him/her, you want to kiss him/her.
Hugging and kissing are different activities. Just because I hug someone, it does not mean I want to kiss them. You have no right getting mad at who I hug or don’t hug. It is for me to decide.
You don’t answer my emails and texts.
I have a life outside of you and I am not going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs waiting for your texts and emails.
Here is my phone number. Will you call me?
No I will not call you because I have told you I’m not interested in you and you keep hogging up my email box and my comments. I don’t want you to be constantly calling me and constantly leaving me messages. You get mad when I don’t text you back. I’m not going to let you scream at me on the phone for not answering your persistent calls.
You know you like me. Why are you denying it?
I think I know how I feel more than you do. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. If you cannot handle me not wanting to be with you, then that is something you need to deal with. I will be your friend but if this persists, I will have no choice but to terminate the friendship.