Okay, ladies, I know you like bad boys. That’s a given. But there are good-bad boys and bad-bad boys.
It is possible to distinguish between the two within the first few minutes of meeting them. I call this method The Bad-Boy Meter–a line of questioning designed to reveal the quality of a man’s character.
Two Types Of Approaches For Women
Let’s say, for example, that you and a girlfriend are at a party. You spot a couple of attractive men, and you migrate to their vicinity in the hope that they will turn and talk to you.
First off, this is called The Proximity Approach. One of the benefits of being a woman is that you guys get to do this. Men don’t achieve much success by standing near women–the men laughing loudly, flipping their hair–and waiting for the women to turn and start talking to them; unless, of course, these men are prettier than those women.
The other approach for women, of course, is The Direct Approach; which, for some reason, is still controversial forty years after Women’s Lib. I have heard female dating coaches discourage women from doing this because, they say, it sends the wrong signals. What wrong signals? That you have an adult personality? That you aren’t a wall-flower?
Ladies, I can assure you that we (men) admire and respect direct approaches from women. It’s not the approach itself that is good or bad. It’s how you handle it.
Besides, smart guys can tell when you’re doing the proximity thing. We can also tell when you’re looking at us through your peripheral vision. So, you might as well tap us on the shoulder and say, “Hello.”
How To Tell the Difference Between Good-Bad Boys and Bad-Bad Boys
So, now to the good stuff–The Bad-Boy Meter! First off, stay away from any variation of the question, “What do you for a living?” If anything sends the wrong signals, it’s this question coming from a stranger.
Instead, ask these questions, in no particular order:
• What do you do for fun?
• Seen any good movies lately?
• What did you want to do when you were a kid?
• What’s your passion (besides sex)?
• Where do you like to go when you’re on vacation?
And my favorite:
If you had all the money in the world, what would you do with your time?
The reason these questions are powerful is that, underneath a thick veneer of amiability, they are very telling.
Getting into them may take a little finessing. After all, one doesn’t typically walk up to a stranger and blurt out, “Seen any good movies lately?” However, once you get to these questions, whatever he says will tell you a lot about his character.
Meanwhile, the one question you should be asking yourself is:
Does this man have a vision for his life that is compatible with mine?
For instance, if he answers any of your questions with little joy, saying something like, “I don’t know… I just like to watch TV, I guess,” then he is a man without a vision.
Some men suffer from limited vision. When asked the “all the money in the world” question, these guys typically reply with, “Absolutely nothing,” or worse, “Party, man!” These guys are bad news.
On the other hand, if there’s fire in his voice and light in his eyes, then it’s up to you to decide whether or not his answers resonate with your core values. If his world intrigues you, then keep talking. If it doesn’t, keep walking.
Choose Your Bad-Boys Wisely
There are many permutations on the Bad-Boy Meter, which is why I do what I do. Most of my female clients need healthy portions of practice and encouragement to master the method. Once mastered, though, these skills invariably increase their esteem, not only with men, but with their friends and business associates.
Are you tired of being taken advantage of by bad boys? Save yourself any further unnecessary heartache–ask the right questions, up front!