The communication problems between men and women are legendary. Men scratch our heads in confusion, trying to understand what women mean. We go bonkers trying to figure out how to talk to them. It feels like we’ll figure out quantum physics before we figure out women. Well, guys, I am here to solve your problems. I’ll share the two secrets to effectively talking to women:
1. Don’t talk to women.
That’s not to say you can’t start a conversation. The operative words here are “to women.” Women are not objects. You don’t talk to, or at, them. You talk with them.
Women are naturally better at connecting with other people. It could be how they are raised, how they are taught, or mind control from aliens. The reason doesn’t matter. They just connect better than we do. They connect with people as equals.
When you talk to a woman or at her she feels objectified – and rightly so. Treating her like a microphone whose job is to absorb your voice is insulting.
When women talk with each other there is a lot of sharing going on. Sharing is a scary word for some guys but it should not be. When a woman shares with you she is inviting other people to be part of her life experience. See it for what it is: a tremendous gift she is offering you. Welcome it and return the favor.
Afterward you can try a real shocker: thank the woman in your life for sharing herself with you and mean it.
2. Shut your pie hole.
I know, I already said that, but it means something different here. If you really want to communicate with women learn the second lesson.
Women are bombarded by male commentary all the time. They need a little silence now and then. Instead of treating your lady friend like a shrink who should hang on your every word try a different approach: Ask her something and then shut up.
Use questions that invite her to do that talking. If you’re planning to go out to dinner don’t ask, “Do you like steak?” say “Tell me what kinds of food you like best.” It gives her the chance to express yourself and shows you want to understand how she feels about the subject.
See, guys, it’s pretty easy. Talk with women, not to them. Collaborate, don’t dictate. Invite her to share herself with you. Appreciate her for doing it. Ask questions. Talk less and listen more. The women in your life will be stunned by your amazing communication talent in no time – and you’ll get to know them better.