Have you ever had the feeling that no matter what has happened in your life and where you have been … that this day and this time is just exactly how it is supposed to be?
Before I start my story maybe I should fill you in. Mom was diagnosed with an untreatable cancer on September 26, 2007, she was only 51 years old. We were told that she only had 6-22 months to live. However, she passed away not even a month after her diagnosis on October 24, 2007.
Now for my story…..
Today I woke up and for the first time since the day Mom was diagnosed, I was truly happy. I don’t know why today was the day. I’m not even sure I was ready for today to come.
Mind you, I never would of figured today to be a happy day. It is cloudy and rainy, not your typical happy day. Usually on days like today I want to pull the covers back over my head and listen to the rain sing it’s chorus while I sleep the day away in my warm bed. But not today.
Maybe it was just that today would of been Mom’s favorite kind of day. Really it is the first “Spring” rain, sure we had rain in april but it was cold, hard falling rain usually accompanied by a chilly wind making everything seem that much more hostile. Not today.
Today was gentle rain for the most part and it is chilly but not cold. It would of been the day that Mom would of cuddled up in her big yellow quilt, a cup of hot tea and her writing pad and pen on the deck to watch the rain fall and see what wild animals would visit her today.
There she would sit and watch the trees, because the leaves are starting to bud, and of course she would want to see the first buds open to soft rain and the sun peeking through the clouds. She would watch the horses play and run, and she would watch her beloved Peacocks spread their tail feathers to try to woe the females.
It could of been the deer I saw this morning when I let the dogs out. Three does that were obviously pregnant. They were so close to me, I could see the gentle lights in their eyes. Even though the dogs were going crazy barking and trying to scare them. They just stood there for a moment, their eyes locked with mine. It was a moment of understanding and trust. Then they flicked their tails and slowly ambled away as if they did not have a care in the world. What a moment Mom would of loved to share.
Or maybe, it was the older gentleman at the gas station who was having car problems. I stopped to help him and while we waited for a tow truck he told me of his wonderful grandchildren. The love in his eyes and voice when he spoke of them reminded me of Mom when she spoke of us kids and her grandbabies. Mom would of talked to him all day about her kids and grandmonsters! I wish I could thank him now. Because I think he helped me more than I helped him.
I don’t know which moment it was that made today special. It could of been all of them. The only thing I do know for sure, is that, today would of been Mom’s day.
Everything today seems to be so right even though really nothing has gone the way I had planned. I didn’t make it anywhere on time today… but I don’t care. I saw Mom today.