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Leasing a Brand New Car is like Dating a 10 when You’re Clearly Only a 5 or 6

by pop tug

I took a big step fairly recently and leased a 2013 Hyundai Sonata. It’s a $20,000 car, and if I would have financed it, the payments would have hovered around $400 a month.

The good thing about leasing is that it’s sort of like automobile fantasy camp for people who want the luxury of a new car without the hassle and expense of actually trying to own it outright.

I’ve had my new car for about a week, and I still can’t believe I’m allowed to drive this thing. It feels like I’m dating a gorgeous supermodel who is clearly a 10 while I’m just some slob who is clearly only a 5.

My new car has everything I could possibly want in a vehicle, including six airbags and XM satellite radio. “Only a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She’s like the wind.”

When I bought my last car about 10 years ago–a 2001 Mitsubishi Mirage–I thought she was understated but still very beautiful in my eyes. She wasn’t a 10, but she was at least a 7 or 8.

I appreciated her at first, and took really good care of her. However, over time, she started to let herself go. I had to replace her brakes and tires almost annually. And anytime she needed a new part, it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack for my mechanic, who would then charge me out the wazoo to fix her.

I was guilty in all of it, too. At first, I would bathe my old car on a consistent basis and get her oil changed always on time. But eventually, I stopped bathing her and rust developed on her exterior. And, instead of taking her to get an oil change every three months, I found myself stretching it to four, five, and sometimes even six months. I didn’t change the air filter even when it was clogged, and this affected her performance.

It happens in a relationship. Often-times, you start taking things for granted and even neglecting your partner.

Things started to really sour with my car after I finally paid her off. More and more repairs needed done, and I knew it just wasn’t working for me anymore.

Things will be different with my new baby. I will bathe her once a week; I will take her to get her oil changed every three months; and I refuse to let any food or drink touch her very delicate interior.

Towards the end of my time with my old car, I treated her like a spare room to my apartment and had cds, sports equipment and articles of clothing scattered all over her backseat and trunk.

I’m sure she didn’t like this, but I didn’t care. “Look, 3, you really let yourself go,” I would often tell her. “I remember when you were an 8. Now look at you? Your last inspection cost me $500!”

My old car got door dinged more than any car I have ever seen, and eventually, I stopped caring about where I parked her. However, I’m very protective of my Sonata, and I will not let her near any other cars. I’ll be one of those people that takes up two spaces if I have to.

Call me insecure, but when you’re only paying $200 a month for a car that’s clearly worth way more than that, you’ll do whatever you can to make her happy.

As I said, I do not feel worthy of this car, but I will do whatever I can to prove to her that we’re meant to be together forever (or at least for the next 48 months).

There is nothing too good for my perfect 10.

I just hope she doesn’t see through my neediness and leave me for a better man.

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