Growing up with the bear necessities and spending most of my young life fantasizing of a better life. I would inundate most of my evenings watching “Leave it to Beaver”, “My Three Sons”, “Donna Reed Show” “The Brady Bunch” and “Dick Van Dike.” All of their lives seemed to be so filled with happiness, love and all the materials things that anyone one could ever hope for! I vowed that when I was blessed with a family, I would do whatever it takes to make my children lives better and more abundant than the life that I had. But, somewhere along the way something changed!
I have four daughters and a son that are very close to each other. They love and except each other, the good, bad and ugly! They are each others best friend. There children are very close to each other and spend lots of time together. I thank God everyday for the closeness and love that they have for each other. However, through the years I feel that I have no place in their lives anymore! I do believe deep down that they love me and want what’s best for me, but at the same time I feel totally rejected and meaningless in their lives. We live within 30 minutes of each other, yet I rarely see them. The only time that I see them is when they need me to do something for them. No one ever visits “Just because.” I only see my grandchildren on holidays or when I go to visit them. When there is babysitting to be done, it’s usually worked out among the five of them, so I rarely get called on to sit with kids. I know that there are some parents that wish that they were not burden down with grown children and grandchildren. I feel that both extremes are overwhelming; Seeing your children too much, or not seeing them much at all!
My children feel that I need to get a Life of my own! I am told that I need to do the things that make me happy! I am having trouble accepting this and when I try to explain it to them, it only leaves me feeling empty inside! I feel like such a whiner! Why is it that I can’t have both! Why can’t I have a life and enjoy my family at the same time! We are always very happy to see each other and they are very respectful of me, but most of the time I have to put forth the effort. I have never been a “Busy body, in your business kind of mom.” I stay out of their personal lives, but I am always there if they need me. Something is wrong! I feel the distance and it hurts like hell! What they don’t understand is what makes me happy is enjoying my family while at the same time pursuing my passion.
I am open to comments and suggestions. What’s your take on this?