The first time I married, it was based on the indoctrinated fairy tale concept of marriage.You know the one — where a knight in shining armor comes riding by on a white horse and sweeps you off your feet, and the two of you ride off into the sunset and living happily ever after. Well, that fairy tale concept was like a glass house that people threw stones at and it came tumbling down.
I was crushed when my knight came along and destroyed the fairy tale illusion. The good thing about believing the fairy tale, was my knight awakening me from the dream of naivety, and welcoming me to the real world.
Although my naivety was crushed, the reality I was now faced with, took time to sink in, because after my knight departed, I still had hopes of someone special coming along; that we would marry, have children and live happily ever after. Eventually, someone i deemed special did come along; however, it didn’t last forever, and my eventual hope never manifested.
Is boy meeting girl meant to last forever?
I suppose one has to ask themselves “why” they desire to marry; their reason to “wed” will be based on their conclusion.
I have no desire to marry again; I don’t see the necessity of it. A person will either stay in my life for a long or short duration, but if I choose to allow someone to occupy my space for any duration, it will be with the understanding that I’m only going to enjoy the moments that we share, for as long as our hearts keeps us there.
If there comes a time when I’m ready to move beyond the person that’s present in my life, we will have went into the relationship with the understanding that, that day might arrive.
People stay together for various reasons; children, commitments, what’s expected of them; promises made, financial arrangements, business arrangements, etc., and, that’s their prerogative, it’s not for me to judge their reasons. I just know for myself that if my heart isn’t in it — then I won’t stay.
Both times I married, I received a piece of paper validating the marriage, and a ring on my finger; yet, neither the paper or the ring kept us together. What both experiences of marriage taught me was: If the heart isn’t in it, the marriage won’t last; and, that there is no forever.
I can say — that I’m thankful for the initial naievty that I held concerning marriage, and to have awakened from the fairy tale illusion!
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