There has been so much partisan divide and rancor in the presidential campaign this election season. Therefore, I have decided to take it upon myself to try and draw some form of laughter from those who have a good sense of humor and a few who do not.
You can call it parody but certainly not satire. Oh! the top-line is even based on facts but the bottom line is meant as humor. Hence, you had better have a good sense of humor before continuing to read.
Here are 10 reasons why Obama or Romney may not win the election:
First, President Obama may not win this election for the following reasons:
1) Obama Slow Jams the News with Jimmy Fallon
In late April this year, President Obama appeared on the Late Night Show. Before sitting down for an interview with the host, Jimmy Fallon, he participated in a segment called “Slow Jamming the News With Jimmy Fallon”. The video quickly went viral on the internet and the Republican party even criticized him for that. Well, no President who slow jams the news has even been re-elected.
2) Obama gets a lift from Pizza guy
In the second week of September this year, President Obama received a bear hug and got lifted off the ground by the owner of a pizza shop he visited in Florida. The guy, a registered Republican named Van Duzer later claimed that fellow Republicans deserted his shop for trying to lift the President into a second term. We have not read in any history book where a President lifted by a pizza guy get re-elected
3) Michelle Obama Owns a Garden in the White House
The First Lady, Michelle Obama has been producing vegetables from her White house garden for almost four years. In fact, she has even written a book about the famous garden which has been admired all over the world. however, history does not suggest that the garden can grow a second term for her husband
4) Obama’s White House brew
President Obama became the first to make home made brew in the White House. He has been sharing it on the campaign trail, prompting brewing enthusiasts to demand for the recipe. He finally released the recipe several weeks back. However, if history is anything to go by, the White House beer will not win him a re-election
5) Obama belts Al Green’s song at fundraiser
Bill Clinton has played the Saxophone and even performed John Lennon’s “Imagine” but it was President Barack Obama who belted a line from an Al Green song at a fundraiser in New York. President Obama was thanking the legendary musician who had performed earlier when he tried out his own voice. His supporters were very much impressed but history might not have been impressed.
Now, here are Mitt Romney’s transgressions:
1) Romney’s car Elevator
Mitt Romney is entitled to own whatever he can afford as a successful businessman. However, he was labelled as out-of-touch by his adversaries for planning to quadruple one of his properties and install a car elevator. White house history also frowns at him, since no candidate who intends building a car elevator has won the presidency.
2) Romney Fails to Identify a Doughnut
Mitt Romney was mocked on the internet, especially on Twitter few months ago, when he failed to ide ntify doughnuts. He called the chocolate goodies. The video went viral and was subsequently used as fodder for late night shows. It turns out that history does not have it that a winning candidate in a presidential election could not identify doughnuts.
3) Who Let The Dogs Out?
At a civil right march in Florida in 2007, Mitt Romney wanted to look cool in the presence of black youths and he awkwardly recites Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out”. He was mocked in the media and by comedians for being completely out of context. It may also be out of context for the White House.
4) Ann Romney’s Horse Loses at the Olympics
Much has been said about Ann Romney’s horse Rafalca but the animal took center stage when it was entered for the dressage event at the London Olympics in the summer. Unfortunately, the horse did not come close to winning. No candidate whose wife’s horse lost at the Olympics has won the race for the White House.
5) Dog on the Roof Candidate
Mitt Romney has endured a lot of mockery for admitting that he tied his dog, Seamus on the roof of his car 25 years ago during a long trip. In fact, he as also earned opposition from a group called “Dogs against Romney. The White House has historically not welcome a president who has done that.
Hope you had a good laugh