If there is one dating rule that all girls should stick to, it’s the “Don’t date your friend’s ex” rule. It’s written into the girl code, an unspoken thing that nobody discusses but everyone knows. Unfortunately, there are still some women out there who are unaware of it. Or worse, unwilling to abide by it. From my own experiences, I can tell you it causes nothing but pain all around. Here are a few reasons not to date your friend’s ex.
It’s a friendship ender
The biggest reason not to hook up with a friend’s former partner is because it will end your friendship. Sure, there are some very rare cases when it works, but mostly, it’s a huge no-no. How would you feel if someone you used to love got involved with your close friend? When this happened to me, it was made worse because my “friend” was very underhanded and lied about her intentions. If you absolutely must cross this line, be up front about it. Chances are, she still won’t be happy, but at least you’ll be able to say you were honest with her.
You become a social outcast
If you hook up with your friend’s ex, you don’t only risk losing one friend, you risk losing your whole social circle. Women are notoriously protective of their friendships, so if one person in the group hurts another, the chances are, they won’t be too happy about it. These situations are rarely black and white, but it’s important to understand all potential consequences before you act. Is the man you want really worth causing pain to a friend, and harming your other friendships in the process?
There could be weirdness in the new relationship
The thing about getting into a relationship with a man your friend was with, is that you probably know more about him than you should. Girls talk, and depending on closeness, you could know everything about him from his shoe size to the more intimate details. If he has any clue about how women are, he’ll be fully aware of this and it could cause tension. A friend of mine started dating a guy who was in a long term relationship with a mutual friend of ours, and he became very paranoid about what had been said about him. His constant questions caused a lot of weirdness between them, and after a couple of months, it all got too much and they broke up.
You might think that, since your friend doesn’t want a man anymore, it means it’s okay for you to swoop in. Just because you think you understand what happened in their relationship, or that your friend is over it, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Ultimately, you are choosing to prolong the unhappiness of someone you care about. Make sure you are completely clear about what you stand to lose by making your move because once you’ve made it, you can’t take it back.
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