Insecurity makes life more difficult for you. It affects everything that you think, say, and do. Your life is filled with conjured uncertainty. The second guessing creates difficulty for you and everyone that you deal with including partners in romantic relationships. This can make relationships often be short and lackluster. Knowing how insecurity works to destroy relationships may help you to overcome the problems and repair the problems.
Insecurity fuels distrust of others.
Because you feel like life is always stacked against you, you may view those around you are poised to take advantage of you. The result is that you will question everyone’s motives who try to be nice to you or show you affection. It is hard for you to let down the wall to allow others inside. This means that you will have problems accepting genuine love from other people. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop to prove that your partner really is too good to be true.
Being insecure can keep you from expressing your feelings.
Telling another person who is not a family member that you love him or her is always a big deal at the beginning. Your insecurity automatically sets you up to expect rejection of any expressed affection. It is likely that your partner expects to hear your feelings verbalized. This is especially true if he or she has already expressed feelings for you. When these feeling are not reciprocated, your partner may inexplicably choose to move on to greener pastures.
This lack of self-confidence can result in less income.
Money is eventually an issue in every relationship. Too little income can become a big problem. Your insecurity can make it difficult to get and keep a job. It can also get in the way of promotions and raises. This income uncertainty may appear to a partner as a lack of direction and commitment to the future and the relationship.
Your insecurity can bring out aggression in partners.
When there is a power vacuum, something or someone will usually move to fill it. If you do not have the problem of being too aggressive to compensate for you insecurity, your partner may become domineering. If you do not mind playing the part of permanent martyr, this may not be a problem. For most people, this aggression will lead to unhappiness in the relationship that fosters a break up.
You may feel undeserving of your partner.
Overcoming the feeling that you do not deserve anything positive can be difficult. While many people feel lucky or blessed to have their partner, this is not the same as feeling undeserving. When you feel that you have something that you do not deserve, you expect to lose it. The same is true in relationships. Because you feel that your partner is too good for you, you will not work to keep him or her.
Any adversity or problem may prompt you to bail out of the relationship. When the other person sees that you seem to not care if the relationship succeeds or fails, he or she will not feel compelled to fight for it either.