Do you sigh a lot? This may be the result of seeing too many things left undone by your spouse. If you are saddled with a lazy partner, his or her laziness may be eating away at your happiness. Laziness can be a way of life or a symptom of some other problem. Either way if you are willing to work a little yourself, you can help to remedy the problem by using a few simple suggestions.
Recognize that laziness is subjective.
If you are an extremely industrious person or a workaholic, you may view almost everyone as lazy. It might be a good idea to consult several non-workaholic friends to get a handle on whether your spouse is lazy or just lazy compared to you. Watch other couples and see how they handle getting things accomplished. If your home varies widely from theirs, your spouse may be lazy. If your partner will not work to bring in income or do anything around the house, it is time to take steps to change things.
Is your spouse always lazy?
This is an important question. It might be that your spouse just dislikes all of the options open for work. Not everyone likes to do dishes or watch the kids. If your partner can be a dynamo at sports or run circles around people with some preferred hobby, laziness is not exactly the problem. It is more likely that your partner is unmotivated and is lacking a real sense of responsibility or duty to his or her obligations. You may need to encourage your house mate to seek some counseling to help the issue.
Find rewards that make your spouse want to work for them.
Everyone responds to rewards. The key is to find the ones that work for the specific individual. This can involve a little trial and error. If you have been married very long to this person, it should not be a big chore to discover what makes him or her get excited. Sit down with your partner and work out a reward system similar to what many parents have done for years with their children. These rewards may require some concessions from you to put into place if your spouse wants something from you.
Try not to nag.
Nagging rarely works over long periods of time. It always reaches a point of diminishing returns. Too much nagging can become a contributing factor to the problem if it causes anger or depression to increase in your spouse. Make your suggestions helpful, kind, and well-spaced.
Look for ways to make sure that your spouse is not depressed.
Your partner may be depressed and not really lazy. Depression can kill motivation quickly. Treating depression may require medical or spiritual help. If your other efforts consistently fail to achieve positive movement to overcome laziness, gently nudge your spouse to seek help.
Be generous in your praise for what your husband or wife does accomplish.
In addition to rewards, praise works very well as a motivational aid. Be consistent and specific in your praise. Many people lose their incentive to work when they feel it is not appreciated or noticed. If you have the bad habit of only pointing out failures, try reversing yourself and compliment even the smallest success. You may be surprised at the results.
