You feel it churning inside you. It gnaws at your stomach and keeps you awake at night. The uncertainty and doubt associated with jealousy due to a long distance relationship. It is fueled by all of the things that you cannot see or know about what where you partner is or what he or she is doing. The problem is devising a way to deal with this jealousy while maintaining your sanity and the relationship.
Find a way to become familiar with the place where your partner lives or works.
This may require that you take a trip and hang around in the area for a while. A lot of times the jealousy is fueled by suppositions that you make about the glamor and romantic opportunities available to your partner. What you will generally discover is that little or none of what you have imagined actually exists. The only way to erase those erroneous pictures is to see them up close and replace the false images inside your heads with realistic ones that are not nearly as glamorous or inviting.
Meet the people that your partner associates with.
You can do this when you travel to his or her location. Get introduced at your partner’s job, neighborhood, and hang outs. As you get acquainted with the individuals involved, you should be able to reduce the number of options that you have for being jealous of these associates. Real people are rarely as wonderful as the ones you can contrive in your mind. You will be able to at least eliminate some areas of jealousy and discuss the rest.
Keep in contact.
This is not an attempt to smother your partner. However, daily communication can keep you from worry about all of the small things that can drive jealousy. Ask the questions that nag at you and listen intelligently to the answers. If nothing questionable arises, more than likely nothing is going on. Avoid accusations and innuendos unless you have a real justifiable reason. Cell phones, Skype, and a variety of other methods to communicate can make this type of contact extremely cheap and easy.
Avoid spying and prying.
If you are attached to someone who has a reputation as a player, you may need to find a new partner because their past will keep making you suspicious. Suspicions will cause you to continually try to find out more and more details about every innocent activity. Eventually, most partners will tire of this and choose to move on to a less challenging and more trusting partner. Save yourself the grief and end it if you cannot get your jealousy under control.
Develop friendships among your partner’s friends at the distant location.
This will not only give you someone to associate with as a couple, but will give you someone to trust. If you become good enough friends, it is likely that this person will tell you if something inappropriate is happening between your partner and someone else. You are not spying, but giving yourself another trusted source of facts to confirm your partner’s fidelity.