Plenty of songs have been composed about couples who have lost the love attraction as their marriage matured. It is natural that the infatuation and excitement of the early dating period should cool a little. In most cases, this is replaced with a deeper more committed love for each other. Couples tend to miss the energy of the courtship once the relationship advances far into married life. By rekindling the romantic side of love, a marriage can restore much of that lost energy to the relationship.
Spend more time thinking about your spouse.
Remember when you were first sensing those feeling about your loved one? You found yourself spending many of your waking hours thinking about the object of your affection. And, it was almost all good thoughts. As life creeps in on you, it can push out the time that you used to spend reflecting on your spouse and how much you are in love. Work to move back toward this place.
Start doing more of the little things for him or her.
Romance is all about trivia and details. People in love remember special days, favorite flavors and colors, and a host of other things that can be lost and forgotten. It is the little things that make us fall in love with someone. Do little things for your partner and encourage the same in return.
Express your affection, respect, and admiration for your spouse.
It can become too easy to find fault with someone that you live with every day and every night. Soon after the wedding, the flaws start to gleam. Force yourself to focus only on the positive aspects of your spouse. If you plan is to rekindle love, it will require that you learn to stop seeing your spouse only in negative ways. Unless you have a spouse that is just awful, you should start to get back what you give out. It may take a little time for the change to happen. Take care not to allow yourself to become a doormat.
Resist the urge to criticize him or her.
Criticism is easy to do and all but impossible to take back. The problem with criticism is that it wounds the other person. An apology may be accepted, but complete healing can take anywhere from a few hours to weeks or months. A few hastily spoken words today can affect your relationship for a long time. There is a good chance that if there is a coolness between you and your spouse, it is the result of words that were spoken that you have forgotten long ago.
Find more alone time as a couple.
You need to be together for extended periods of time. Romance and affection require attention. Without being together, these aspects of your relationship can wither and die. If too much time has gone by, it will require that you and your spouse start the romantic side of your relationship anew.
Force yourself to use your spouse as your best friend.
It is too easy to vent to a nearby friend when you are upset. This can lead to you turning to others to share your big events instead of turning to your spouse. Trust the person you have married to fill this role. You may need to sit down and talk with your partner about wanting him or her to be more involved with your life if this is a problem area in the relationship. As your love is rekindled, you should find yourself excited to share news and events with your spouse and for your partner to share the same his or her experiences with you.