Life is busy. It seems filled to the brim with tasks needing to be done. Whether for work or home, children or neighbors, church or any other obligation, the calendar and the days seem to be jam packed. How in this crazy and hectic world are you supposed to find time for your spouse?
I often suffer from what I call the “I have no more to give syndrome”. It is commonly appears at 8:00pm when the kids are in bed, the kitchen tidied after dinner and everything is packed and ready to go for another early start tomorrow. This should be the time when spouses can reconnect, if even for only a couple of hours before heading to bed. But sometimes I have no more to give. No more energy, no more patience, no more desire to do a single other thing for someone other than myself. If you are honest with yourself, you’ll probably realize I’m not the only one.
My husband is my best friend, a hard worker, an amazing father and an incredibly thoughtful spouse. So why, is it so hard to find time to be with one of my most favorite people? Why at the end of the day, do our spouses get the left overs, when really, we want to give them our best?
Here are three simple ways you can make time for each other in this chaotic world that we live in.
1. One of our favorite things to do is watch a TV series on DVD. With our busy schedules (coaching, meetings, etc.) we are rarely home every Thursday night to catch the latest episode of the trending shows. One way we can enjoy a great show and time with each other is to get the complete series on DVD and watch it when it works for our schedule. We highly anticipate each new episode and the relaxing couch time. As we cuddle in for the entire season of episodes, we are entertained and have managed to have some quality time together. One of our favorite series has been Friday Night Lights and we would highly recommend it.
2. You could join an activity together. Maybe it is a card club, or a co-ed volleyball team or a bible study. Find something you both enjoy doing and then do it together. Often times, individuals have hobbies… scrapbooking for her, hunting for him, running for her, golfing for him. But one trick to guaranteeing more time together is to seek out the activities you both enjoy and then get out there and do them.
3. Start a project together. Whether it is a home improvement project (refinishing a room, painting, creating a new garden, etc.) not only will your time be spent on beautifying your home, but it will be time with each other. All parts of the project from the planning to the completion will require the communication, time together and feelings of accomplishment that some couples are craving.
Each of these options offer couples a great way to spend time together. And each option will span through a decent period of time, hopefully creating a healthy habit (and a fun one) for you and your significant other. My final advice is this, no matter what you plan to do, get it on the calendar before it fills up. Guarantee yourself this successful marriage necessity by not giving that time up, no matter what comes up. Trade babysitting with neighbors, ask grandparents, go out while your kids are at a friend’s house or summer camp for the week.
My husband and I recently went out to dinner after a joint meeting. We sat through an entire meal without picking anything up off the floor or being interrupted midsentence. We talked about important matters and trivial stuff. We laughed and took our time, actually lingering at the table once we had finished eating. On the way home I said, “I love our kids and I love our family, but man is it nice to go out to eat without them every once and a while.” My second born is two months old and this was our first time out (together, without kids). I can guarantee we won’t wait that long again until our next date night. I’m looking forward to it, and I hope with these ideas, you are looking forward to your next date night too.