The reasons why couples separate or divorce are numerous and complex. But when the disparities and the conflicts of interest which seemed to be of little importance in the courtship days, come to the fore, a divorce becomes the convenient choice.
That’s how relationships are when the honeymoon period has run its course. It happens right under your nose so it seldom comes as a surprise to either partner. True, some marriages are doomed to disaster because of the violent and abusive role of one or both partners but most marriage have the potential to survive and prosper again with the right guidance.
This is what the Magic of Making Up guide is intended to do. “We are not in love anymore” becomes the standard response. There is no doubt that marriage is never easy…at the best of times. At other times it can become very demanding. What most couples must realize is that when problems arise, a divorce can hardly be considered an option (or a solution) to any problems they may encounter. It becomes hard to accept that after you have lived with somebody for so many years, you find it a burden being near that person anymore.
Under these circumstances the best course of action for both partners is to leave one another and move on in life. Nobody is in a better position than you to understand the futility of a miserable marriage and the thought of ever getting back together again.
But it doesn’t always work that way.
While things generally work out differently for women, most men will head for some kind of an affair or another marriage for want of companionship. Men are just not cut out to watch a movie or dine out alone. Besides, a divorce seldom handicaps a man financially to the extent it does a woman who is not working. Yet, contrary to popular belief, when marriages fail it is more often women that seek divorce. The reasons are often listed as abuse and marriage-destructive Behaviour. However, as time moves on, most couples discover the folly of their ways. Relationships on the rebound are seldom satisfactory and as the divorce rates show fewer marriages work out the second time around. You have been on your own for a while now, discovered a few things about yourself and life, and reality has began to sink in.
So, you want your ex back now! This is seldom an easy task but the Magic of Making Up guide is designed to show you how. This is based on the assumption that you actually see a future in renewing this relationship and are prepared to give your best. In that case the one good chance you have to bring your ex back is to get that person to realize how desirable you are. Try and genuinely be the person you were at the start of your relationship and be seen as a warm and caring person to everyone around you. If your ex sees you again as a happy and contented person without he or she being around, the more the likelihood that they may want to be a part of that life again.
It is natural that you may be bitter with your breakup but don’t be emotional about it. Since you have been through a lot of introspection, the more civil you are to each other, the more likely it is that you will become interested in one another again. Don’t be the person to decide, in a hurry, what is going to happen next. Remember, this could be a repeat of an earlier romantic relationship and you are getting into it as a mature person, with your eyes wide open.
On the other hand when relationships break up in a planned manner, partners continue to remain friends even if they seldom get their ex to come back permanently. This is emotionally and financially beneficial for the children and the parent they live with, and helps build a relationship from good friends to lovers with your ex when opportunity presents itself. This motivates the two participants to get together again, years after the breakup. Unfortunately, this is not a frequent occurrence. So it will be wise to remember that a majority of couples who re-unite, do it very quickly after their initial breakup.
Forget about the state of mind you are in and how you rate your chances; let the Magic of Making Up guide be your partner in the search for marital happiness.