It is an ironic matter when your friends seek you out for advice on relationships especially if you have never been in a relationship, ever. I also find it funny that when dishing out advice, I am always on point, and it does’t really matter what area, mayhap it be of an emotional, sexual, spritual nature within a relationship, I never cease to amaze them. Now, I am not bragging, but I can’t help wondering what it is that makes me such an expert. I always thought that the best people to go to for advice of that nature are the ones who have actually been in a relationship(s) and experience the downsides and upsides of being one of a whole. I finally came to the conclusion after much soul searching and realized that I’ve always had certain expectations of the type of person I wanted based on novels, movies, relationships around me, sort of living vicariously through these mediums. I know, sad and pathetic.
All this preaching didn’t make me an expert but nevertheless, I knew what I wanted and needed and had certain expectations of how I should be htreated and vice versa. When I finally found myself in a relationship for all the wrong reasons, it only reaffirmed that I was right. As a young woman, and a romantic at heart, I found out that I never want to settle for less. I can’t afford to ask “what if”, and live with endless regrets that no doubt could have been avoided. I also realized, that I might have used “Him” as a guinea pig, but that was never my intention. He just happened to come along at a time when I was most vulnerable and needed companionship. The sneaky thing about companionship is that you can easily fool yourself into believing you’re in love. But maybe I was really in love with the idea of being in love. This isn’t old news, and at one point or another many have ventured down this beaten path.
I beleive that women in general should set standards. Standards that are realistic and leave alot of room for compromise from both sides. And not just set them, but to remain consistent and stand by these standards. These starndards should also be flexible, because times will constantly change and YOU will change also. Not letting circumstances deter you and stear you on the wrong path will also save you alot of trouble. You see, I know Mr. Right is out there somewhere, but I won’t be looking for him. If and when I do happen upon him, I won’t be the same person I was before but a better version of myself now. I will not compromise my integrity, my morals and values, and body for a short fling cloaked in love. I’m far away from being jaded but does not mean I’m naive. Sure, maybe in some areas, but I know that whatever mistakes I make, there will always be an upside.