A while back, one of my friends asked me, “How do you manage to do it all with two kids? You’re like some super mom. I’m struggling to keep it all together with just one”. At the time, I was pregnant with my third child and she was pregnant with her second. So, I gave her my secret to being a super mom. You ready to hear my secret? Here it goes… There is no secret. I am just as lost as the rest of you. That’s right, I am no super mom.
Oh no! Did I just burst the bubble? Did I just ruin the dreams of all those moms out there searching for the secret to becoming the perfect mom who has it all together? You bet I did! So how is it that I seem to have it all together with all the puzzle pieces fitting just right? Here’s the real secret to my motherly success. I fake it! I have three kids five and under and I’m still faking it till I make it. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t figured out a few things along the way. Sure, I’ve gotten to a point where I know what works and what doesn’t work for my family. Over time, though, I’ve come to accept the fact that I don’t need to be perfect.
As mothers, we beat ourselves up trying to get it all done just right. Kids up and ready to go every morning with no tantrums and a big healthy breakfast on the table… Being on time everywhere we go with everyone looking put together with no stains on the kids clothes… Laundry done and a home cooked dinner on the table every night… The house clean to magazine photo shoot standards… the kids bathed and in bed on time… and the list goes on. I figured out that if I have even half of that list accomplished, than I’ve done a good job for the day. I’ve also figured out that I can’t always win every battle. So these days, I pick my battles carefully. Do I wish my daughter would not choose to wear the plaid shorts with the stripy top to school? Yes… but will it get her to school on time if I give in? Another yes. It would be nice to have a home cooked meal every night for dinner too. Though, sometimes, picking up a pizza is just the easier alternative (Hooray to dinners I don’t have to fight the kids to eat!). I sometimes have all the laundry done and occasionally I manage to make it out the door on time. I stay up late most nights while the kids are asleep and let them sleep late in the mornings just so I can get things done (how do you think I have time to write this?).
I’ve learned that I’d rather enjoy the moments I have with my family instead of obsessing and stressing over every detail of motherhood. When my kids have a boo-boo I kiss it better. When they cry I wipe their tears. We snuggle on the couch and watch their favorite Disney movies and eat popcorn. If the rest manages to get done somewhere in the mix, then that’s just icing on the cake. I may not be super mom but to my kids I am still super. If you remember that, then you don’t really need the secret formula after all.