When you move from being in a relationship to a marriage, things change. People sometimes talk about how the two are essentially the same, but I beg to differ. I used to believe that marriage was just a piece of paper and that it would not change what I shared with my partner, but I was wrong. A little over a month ago we decided to seal the deal and pledge our love in front of our friends and family. Since that day, things have changed dramatically. This is what was altered in our lives, and how we are dealing with it now.
My role in the family
Two weeks after we got married, my in-laws were in a terrible motorcycle wreck. Both were injured pretty badly. I stepped up and took on the role as head of household in their absence. Since then, things have changed dramatically in my relationship. My husband and I were left to parent three teenagers and our two young sons. I was responsible for making sure they went to school, did their homework, and had three meals every day. Upon taking this all on, our bond grew stronger. We realized that the vows we took truly mattered, and in his time of need, I was there for him.
Everything became “ours”
We lived together long before we were married, but the majority of our affairs were kept separately. Now everything we own is combined. His income and my income are thrown together, and we are looked at as one joint unit. We both had our own bills, and now we have things that are ours together. There is no longer the conversations about what I spend versus what he spends, it is what we spent together. I didn’t realize how complicated things were individually until we threw everything together.
I “belong” to someone
It is funny to hear myself being introduced as someone’s wife. I have not legally changed my name, but to hear someone refer to me as Mrs. so and so gives me butterflies. This is my first marriage and I waited a long time to find “Mr. Right.” Everyone around me has been married at least once, and many of them are on their second or third marriage. I have never really felt a part of any family, and now that has changed. I belong to my husband. I am half of him, and he is half of me.
It is amazing how different things become after you say those simple vows. I was never a big believer that marriage was something special, but after the changes I have seen over the course of a month, I know I was wrong. Married life is an adventure, and I am ready to stand by my husband’s side for better and for worse. At the moment, there has been more bad times than good, but I am hopeful that will turn around in the next couple of months
More from this contributor
Ways to stay true to yourself in a relationship
Things to consider when mixing your relationship with friendships
Bad relationship choices: What are yours?