Sharing a home with someone else can be disheartening at times, even if the house belongs to a significant other. They might say to make it your own, but when someone has no intentions of sharing in the true sense of the word, their statements will be peppered with reminders that the house is really theirs. Those types of reminders are not necessary. Some have hidden agendas, while others have personality flaws that prevent them from sharing in the true sense of the word. They are not capable of sharing anything if they do not stand to gain something of real value.
Finding a personal space in someone else’s house can be difficult, even when paying more than a fair share of living expenses. Use these easy ways to feel at home in someone else’s house, and find comfort in little things. They might have a house, but you can have far more. Do not allow yourself to feel like a guest in a structure that holds all of your belongings.
Know your Limits
Through trial and error, it will be easy to figure out limitations when living in someone else’s house. Something might be moved to a location that seems more appropriate after being given permission to rearrange, but be prepared for questions time and time again regarding the locations of those items, even if they seemed worthless to that person. Take mental notes when trying to feel at home in someone else’s house. In time the limits will be clear, and mistakes that start ownership squabbles will become less frequent. With every little squabble you will realize where the invisible line exists.
Keep your Belongings Separate
The best piece of advice that I have for someone that does not feel at home in someone else’s house involves belongings. Do not combine everything, even when sharing a home with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Love is not supposed to be selfish or greedy, at least not true love. If the house is theirs and a wall of selfishness exists, keep most of your belongings separate. Allow others to use the items, but maintain them in a separate cabinet, cupboard or storage area. You will feel more at home when your things are kept together and intact. Otherwise you will feel as if you do not own anything but your personal effects when things have already been verbally labeled as yours and mine. You are not being selfish. The other person already set boundaries. Follow their lead.
Setup and Maintain your Personal Spaces
Find personal spaces when trying to feel at home in someone else’s house. For example, maintain a desk with your belongings. It is a place to pay bills, work on crafts or perform other desktop activities. Everyone needs personal spaces, especially in someone else’s house. Even if the walls, ceiling and flooring are theirs, some of the contents are yours. Do not give up ownership of those items or you will never feel completely at home. On the contrary, you will feel as if you have surrendered ownership of just about everything when the other person has issues with sharing.
What is Yours is Still Yours
When moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a person can feel diluted if a clear separation exists. Some people suddenly consider anything that enters their home a possession, but your items are not free for the taking, especially if they have verbally labeled their belongings as theirs. When trying to feel at home in someone else’s house, do not give up full rights to your belongings, even if your intentions are to stay until your dying day. If you do, what is theirs will still be theirs, and what is yours will become theirs too.
If arrogance and selfishness does not come into play, you will both be able to share. However, if someone makes you feel like a loser and a second class citizen, reconsider the relationship and living arrangements. Everyone needs to feel like they have a place to come home to. Do not allow yourself to feel like nothing more than a guest that has stayed too long in someone else’s house. You will never feel at home.
Source: Personal Experience