Apologizing to someone is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when a person does not accept blame to begin with. However, if the person is a family member or someone that must be addressed on a regular basis, it is best to mend fences and find ways to get along. Someone has to be the bigger person, and it is usually the one that was not at fault. It takes two people to argue and fight, but it only takes one to break down a relationship and destroy trust. It is hard to offer an apology, even more so when it is undeserved, but it is even harder when the person does not accept it. After coming to the realization that some people would rather complain and argue than get along, it is important to accept the situation and find ways to move on.
Make Photocopies of Letters, Emails, Gifts and Postage Receipts
Family members and friends are often involved when people are not getting along. They might not be directly involved, but they know the situation. Gossip travels fast. Well meaning friends and relatives want those that are feuding to make amends. When someone does not accept an apology, others might think that no one tried. Do not accept blame for a second time. Make photocopies of letters, emails, gifts and postage receipts to show that genuine effort was made to resolve the conflict. When someone does not accept a sincere apology, at least mutual friends and family members can honestly say that they tried.
Do Not Harass the Person with Further Cards, Calls or Gifts
Sometimes people do not want to make amends. In a twisted way, some are happier when they have something to complain about and someone to despise. These types of people need a therapist more than they need a greeting card. If a person tries to apologize and the apology is not well received, they should not waste time or money on additional phone calls, cards or gifts. Kind gestures can be interpreted as stalking. If a sincere apology is not good enough, an apology every other day will not be good enough either.
Let it Go and Move On
When someone will not accept an apology, it is important to let it go and move on. After all, apologizing was the right thing to do. People cannot be forced to accept an apology and forgive unkind words, mistakes, thoughtless actions or errors in judgment. After doing the right thing to no avail, the ball is in their court. The person that will not accept an apology is the one with the problem. They will have to live with the decision to ignore the apology, but those that took the step to apologize can move on with a clear conscience while knowing that they tried.
Source: Personal Experience with Difficult People