Age has always been an issue when it came to relationships. Dating an older guy seems so sexy and alluring. If you’re dating a man who is older than you, it makes you feel like you’re protected and safe and you’re well taken care of.
Dating someone your age isn’t bad either, provided your man is past the “frat boys” stage and is mature enough to have a decent job and has some direction in life if you’re in your twenties. If you’re both in your thirties or forties, then it’s likely he’s also ready to settle down.
Now let’s say you’re in your late 20s and you’re dating a guy who’s a couple years younger than you, maybe around 5-10 years younger. Will that be an issue?
To some women, it’s no big deal because 3-5 years is nothing. You’re not a cougar who’s circling her prey and waiting for the right moment to pounce. You’re just…trying out something new. Or maybe you couldn’t find someone your age and he seemed like he didn’t mind that he’s 5 years younger than you. Or maybe it’s just fate.
But for other women, age IS an issue especially if we’re talking about a decade of age difference. Let’s say that you’re in your thirties and like a guy in his twenties. Your friends would say “go for it, girl!” But you would say “yeah, maybe not.” That’s understandable since there are a lot of things you need to think about when you’re dating a younger man.
When you’re dating a younger man, you tend to feel young — or younger. If he looks like that male model and has a body to die for then why not! Younger guys are often in awe of older women because they see you as someone with a lot of life experience. That and they may also think you had a lot of experience with sex!
So what if you’re 35 and he’s only 25? You don’t look 35 and he’s taller than you and if you look young for your age then people wouldn’t guess the age difference. Besides, a younger man just seems so…undamaged. He’s playful and lots of fun to be around with. It’s like he’s not that burdened with the harsh reality of life and you can just relax around him. You can loosen up and for a while you can forget that he’s way younger than you and just relax.
On the other hand, dating a younger man does have a downside. He’s still in his twenties and in that age, he’s still spreading his wings and learning how to fly. He invites you to his place and takes you to his room and under the dim lights of the bedroom he’s hot and sexy in bed with all the right moves. But in the morning, when the sun filters through the windows, the impact of reality is a pretty big wake-up call.
What am I talking about?
The messy room, the unpaid bills because his income just can’t cut it, laundry, video games, or in other words, the evidence of a man who’s still very much in touch with his inner child.
In time, you’ll find that you’re role is not just his lover. You could be his teacher too, or worse, his mom! If you’re not careful, the passion will fade because you’re too busy reprimanding him on how to live his life and telling him to grow up.
Now, not all guys in their twenties are immature and unreliable. There are some young men who are 25 going on 35, but there are also those who are 25 going on 20. If you really like this younger guy then you better pray that you didn’t luck out and end up with the latter.
The “I wish people would mind their own business” issue
He’s okay with dating an older woman, you’re okay with dating someone younger (or it doesn’t bother you that much anymore). As for the rest of the world, they’re okay too but mostly they have a little trouble minding their own business.
They would say “good for you,” or “it’s your life, I’m okay with your decision” but you hear side comments here and there:
“Can’t she find someone her own age?”
“What was she thinking?”
“She’s practically his mother!”
It’s harsh and annoying and sometimes you wish you could just tell these people to stuff it! But what you need to understand is that people are very hard to please and they will ALWAYS find something wrong with what you do. It hurts when you’re labeled as a “cougar” but you need to let it slide if you really like this younger man by your side.
Here’s the bottom line:
Age is a number but sometimes it plays a role in relationships. But what you need to remember is that there are also problems with dating older men or men your age. There will always be challenges when it came to dating and relationships.
However, dating a younger man doesn’t have to be a fling or a phase. There are couples who made it despite the age gap and regardless if people say “it will never last, it’s just a phase.” If a man is younger, it doesn’t mean that he’s not ready to commit. If he’s committed to you and is mature for his age then it’s a good match.