We all know the classic social, unofficial rule: “You can’t hit a girl!” In society, men aren’t allowed to hit women. To many people, this makes sense. But, does it really make sense? It only seems to make women look weak while at the same time blatantly refusing men their right to defend themselves from harm, especially harm done by women. This is sexism to both genders; however, men are more affected by this than women. Why? You’ll soon find out.
Before I delve into the topic a little more, I would like to state in advance that I will be listing common statements made by people who defend this rule…, and at the same time, I will be refuting them. I would also like to state that in no way am I misogynistic. I am simply discussing the sexism of this rule directed against men and women. I also do not mean to be hateful or insulting to anyone.
“Men should never hit women.”
First of all, there is NO official rule anywhere that states that men can’t inflict harm on women. Besides, what does being a woman have to do with anything? When dealing with violence, gender should in no way come into the equation. No one should hit anyone, except in self-defense.
“Hitting a woman is immoral and wrong.”
And, hitting a man isn’t immoral and wrong? It’s funny how often people say that hitting women is wrong, but these same people don’t say the same for hitting men. If it’s immoral to hit a woman, then it’s immoral to hit a man. Otherwise, it’s a sexist double standard. Besides, hitting anyone is wrong, except in legitimate self-defense.
“Women are naturally weaker than men.”
It’s true that on average, men are stronger than women. However, not every man is stronger than every woman, and not every woman is weaker than every man. Also, since men are generally stronger than women, women should know not to hit men in the first place. You shouldn’t hit someone who can hurt you more than you can take. Common sense. If you intentionally hurt someone bigger than you first, then don’t be surprised if you get your butt kicked. I am not condoning violence (except for self-defense), but if you initiate violence, except violence in return, regardless of your sex and regardless whether or not the retaliation was justified.
“Women are weak and defenseless.”
Remember when I said that this rule is sexist against women? Well, here’s why. This rule treats all women as weak, delicate beings who need to be “protected.” This is the 21st century, people. Enough with this sexist mindset. Men and women are supposed to be equal–not on a physical level but on a social level. Chivalry is dead because women killed it, and that’s a good thing. There are plenty of tough women out there who can take care of themselves. Many women have proven themselves to be just as strong as men, but when violence against them occurs in self-defense (or violence in general), many of them (as well as many men) suddenly change their view? It’s sad.
“Men are supposed to treat women like ladies.”
And, women are supposed to treat men like gentlemen, but not enough people say anything about that. No one should hit a lady or a gentleman. No one should even hit anyone, period.
“It’s never okay to hit a lady.”
Not if the women aren’t acting like ladies first. Ladies are good-mannered and know not to resort to unnecessary violence, and so do gentlemen. Because of this, there is no reason to hit a lady OR a gentleman. If a woman wants to be treated like a lady, she has to ACT like one first. If you don’t act like a lady or a gentleman, you won’t be treated like one.
“You can’t hit me! I’m a girl!”
Why? Simply because you are a girl? Sorry, but your gender doesn’t give you immunity to reciprocation. If you hit someone first, prepare for reprisal. And, don’t pull the “I’m weaker than you!” card because it doesn’t work. First of all, as I said before, many women claim to be just as strong as men, but when stuff like this happens, many of their views are changed. Second of all, if you knew any better, you wouldn’t have hit the boy or man in the first place. Don’t throw stones at other people’s houses if your own windows are made of glass. In other words, vulnerable people shouldn’t attack others who are less vulnerable. Your gender or size is not a shield.
“Only a coward would hit a female.”
Only a coward would hit someone first and not expect to get hit because of his or her gender and size! A woman hitting a man and knowing he won’t (not “CAN’T,” but “WON’T”) hit back because he has been raised not to hit a woman is the TRUE coward here.
“If a man hits a woman in front of me, he better be prepared to fight me.”
This is a sexist mindset. It implies that women always need male protection, and that men that give that protection are “heroes” or “real men.” This quoted statement is a good example of this really bad behavior! Women do NOT need protection; they can handle themselves. Enough with the sexism. If you want to protect someone you know who happens to be female, then that’s fine; that’s different. However, being a sexist isn’t good. Don’t protect someone just because of his or her sex; that’s sexist. I don’t mean to offend anyone who has this mindset, but I am referring to people who act irrationally and immediately jump to the woman’s side in a fight between a man and a woman without understanding the whole situation first.
“Any man that hits a woman deserves to be hurt.”
Even in self-defense? Really? This is sexist and is not being helpful to anyone. It’s sickening how many people agree to this.
“That woman could be someone’s mother!”
And, that man could be someone’s father, but how often do you hear this being said? It’s pretty rare, yet this “mother” argument is most commonly used…in the most irrational way possible. Being a mother does not excuse you from justified retaliation. And, I’m sure that there are plenty of mothers out there who know darn well that they should keep their hands to themselves if they don’t want to get hit.
“You better not hit her back!”
Why, because she’s a girl? If you are a person who denies a man his right to defend himself just because the aggressor is female, then you really should reconsider this horrible mindset.
“You can’t hit a girl!”
First of all, you have NO right to deny me my right to self-defense simply because the attacker is female. That is sick. Self-defense is a human right and is NOT limited based on sex.
“I can’t hit a woman!”
…simply because she’s a woman. Again, you have a right to defend yourself, regardless of gender. Why, oh why, is being a woman a factor when it comes to violence or defending one’s self from harm? Protect and defend yourself.
“Be a real man!”
A “real man” wouldn’t allow himself to be abused by anyone. A “real woman” wouldn’t provoke or hit a man. “Real people,” whether male or female, know how to keep their hands to themselves, period.
“Let her hit you!”
Wait, what? I’m supposed to let myself be harmed just because my attacker is a girl? Is THAT what you are trying to tell me? That’s horrible! Sorry, but my right to self-defense still stands. You shouldn’t let someone harm you because the person is female, and you shouldn’t let anyone harm you in the first place. Self-defense is self-defense, no exceptions.
“Hitting a woman is like hitting a kid.”
This is more sexism against women. Hitting a woman is NOT tantamount to hitting a kid. Women are GROWN able-bodied people; kids are not. To say otherwise is sexist.
Writing seventeen points to refute is tiring. Phew!
Anyway, this stupid “Men don’t hit women” rule is annoying and sexist. As you can see, it affects men more than women, but it’s still bad to both genders. All it does is perpetuate the stereotype that men are violent, especially towards women, while at the same time, it treats women like defenseless, little children, denies men their right to defend against women, and summons sexist people altogether.
Ironically, this rule is expected to stop a certain amount of violence, but all it’s doing is making women violent since it gives them the impression that they are free to hit whomever they want (especially men) without any repercussion whatsoever.
Seriously, how often do you see a man hitting a woman? Almost never, because doing so is frowned upon in society in the West. However, this society cares nothing about women hitting men.
Do I want men to start hitting women? No, I don’t want either gender to hit each other. However, in order to eliminate this nasty double standard, either both genders should be allowed to hit each other (preferably in self-defense) or neither should be allowed to hit each other. I prefer the latter.
It’s really weird. When a man gets hit by a woman, reactions are usually: “He deserved it.” or “Ha ha! That’s funny! What a wimp!” However, when a man hits a woman, reactions are “Oh, my gosh! That poor woman!” or “You jerk! How dare you hit a woman!” Darned if you hit a woman in a fight, darned if you don’t. A horrible double standard.
Facebook has been infected with this double standard as well. Go look at the “Real Men Don’t Hit Women” page. Now, go look at the “Real Women Don’t Hit Men” page. Notice the major difference in likes and popularity? Guess who has more of both. That’s right–the former does.
No one should be hit, female or male. Self-defense is the only exception. If you, as a man or a woman, were raised that men must not hit women, fine; I can’t change the way you feel, and I won’t put you down for it. However, you must acknowledge that women shouldn’t hit men either, and you must know that it isn’t right to tell men that “they can’t hit women” because it promotes sexism towards both genders while at the same time, it promotes women to be violent towards men and men to be punching bags to women.
If you hit someone, expect to get hit back, regardless of your gender and regardless of whether or not the retaliation is justified. If you don’t want to get hit, don’t hit.
This “Real Men Don’t Hit Women” rule needs to stop because it makes no sense and harms society.