In our world today people fall out of love as quickly as they fall in love. Is this causing the younger generation of people in our society to decide to live together before they’re married? Many of these young people have children together before they decide to marry and this concerns me too. How are their children going to fit into their lives in a situation without a solid foundation?
It concerns me also because younger people may not take marriage seriously and they will be afraid of making a commitment or considering marriage in the future. I ask you, is living together before marriage healthy for the mental outlook of young people? Will their bad experiences while living with a partner leave them with a terrible fear of marriage? Will they ever consider marriage as being sacred or continue to live with a several partners without marriage?
When a young person goes through a difficult situation in a close relationship, many of them find the stress and the fear of marriage becomes magnified with them and they’re constantly searching for that perfect person to marry. No-one is perfect and a young person needs to realize this and they should try to get past their bad relationship and move on with their life or they’ll end up insecure for the remainder of their life.
After doing some research on this article, I found several articles at New York Times: http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/03/what-are-your-beliefs-about-marriage/-beliefs-about-marriage/ and at http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/17/should-couples-live-together-before-marriage/. I wanted to try and find some concrete information and statistics about living and having a romantic relationship with a partner before marriage.
According to one of the above articles, cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together and today the number is more than 7.5 million. Researchers believed it’s attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and with our present economy, it’s appealing for young people for the purpose of sharing their bills and business matters; thus, saving them money.
According to the article, a National Center for Health Statistics study by Sam Roberts reported, “Living together first doesn’t make marriage last, the study finds.” The study stated that couples who live together before marriage are less likely to stay together; but their chances did improve when they were already engaged prior to living together.
It is my belief that couples who cohabitate with their partners and lives with them as a sexual partner are more likely to seek a new partner in a few years. It’s like when a person goes through the dating period and they jump from one affair to another. The reason for this opinion is that in the back of one or the other partner’s mind they may feel like this has been a temporary arrangement and it gives them a right to move on with their life. They may also feel like the romance is stale and unexciting and they’re “no longer” in love with their partner.
Over the years in my life, I’ve noticed several of my friends children who have been in a relationship where they lived together during college and the majority of them split up after their college days. I’m “not” saying “all” young people split up but a lot of them do. I’ve known some of these college students personally and they’ve indicated their love faded over a period of time but they continued to share an apartment with their partner for financial reasons.
A living together arrangement also offers young people the option of backing out of a commitment for marriage because they’ve found out there are things about their partner they’re not happy with and they don’t want to marry them. In my opinion this is a “no win” situation anyway they approach it. It’s to “easy” to opt out and move on when young people have lived together, and if there are children involved, it’s sad for the children and the parents too.
The article stated the study had said the likelihood a marriage surviving for a decade or more actually decreased by six percentage points if the couple had cohabited first. This study consisted of men and women in the age groups from 15 to 44 and it was conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics using data from the National Survey of Family Growth conducted in 2002. The authors defined cohabitation as being people who lived with a sexual partner of the opposite sex (…)
There’s some positive news though the study stated half of the couples who cohabit marries within three years. If they’re college graduates, it is more likely they will marry and the marriage will last for at least ten years.
I’m sorry I cannot find any positive feedback to offer young people about this situation because I feel the uncertainty of a live-in relationship without marriage is just what it is “a live-in arrangement” and who knows how one or the other will feel after a period of time.
Photograph Images & Copyrights as follows:
1. sxc.hu/Billy Alexander
2. sxc.hu/Danny Simmons
3. sxc.hu/Nat Arnett