Spend any time watching movies where the dead overwhelm the living and you find yourself wondering “What would it be like if the world was filled with zombies? How would I survive or even find a home that would not be susceptible to an attack?” Although I can’t foresee such an attack in my future, you never know when you might be confronted by the undead wanting to chew through your skull. The recent zombie-like attack in Miami, Florida has made me even more aware of the possibility of such an occurrence. ( http://news.yahoo.com/miami-police-kill-naked-man-bit-off-victims-161203612.html ) The handbook for zombie proofing your life is the 1971 film, The Omega Man, which is loosely based on the 1954 book, I am Legend, by Richard Matheson. Even though the main character ultimately doesn’t fare so well in the movie (or book) I used the film as a guide to making sure you (and your home) can withstand a zombie onslaught.
1. Live on the top floor of a building. Zombies will look for the easiest (and tastiest) victims. If you are on the top floor and your neighbor is on the bottom floor, chances are that he will be chosen for the all-you-can-eat brain fest.
2. Reinforce all windows and doors. Use the strongest material available to you since zombies are notoriously strong and can rip through any window or door that is only covered with plywood. Check your local home improvement store for a do-it-yourself seminar on zombie-proofing your home.
3. Don’t enter or exit your dwelling using the automatic garage door. Given the fact that the door opens and closes slowly it gives the zombies ample opportunity to gain entry and you don’t want that to happen.
4. Get a generator and know how to use it. If the zombies have any sense left at all, one of the first things they will do is try to disable your electricity.
5. Clear all shrubbery from around your home. Zombies will try to smoke you out by setting fire to your surroundings and hoping your home catches fire too.
6. In a regular emergency (earthquake, tornado, or hurricane) you should have enough supplies to last 3 days on your own. However, in case of a zombie invasion you must be prepared to be on your own indefinitely. Stock up on necessities like canned food, bottled water, and medicine and hope that you can outlast the zombies.
7. Arming yourself is up to you. It can be hard to differentiate a zombie from your stoner cousin, so be extra careful about pulling that trigger.
8. Amass as much reading material as you can. An encyclopedia (not electronic) would be a good addition to your collection. It will take a while to get though all the books and should prove to be invaluable when you try to rebuild civilization after the zombie invasion.
9. Try to gain some medical knowledge in basic first aid. A good medical encyclopedia (see entry above) like Gray’s Anatomy (the book, not the television program) should help you if you need to sew yourself up.
10. Lastly, don’t fall in love with a zombie pretending to be normal. (They can fake it if they have to.) This can lead you to make unwise decisions based on emotions and will ultimately cause your demise.
This guide is by no means a guarantee on surviving a zombie invasion. Use your own brains (while you still have them) to ensure you have done all you can do to zombie-proof your life.